A simple solution

Elson Elizaga .

SOMEBODY gave your president a bad advice, a convoluted solution to a simple problem that isn’t a problem at all. They told him to arrest senator Antonio Trillanes IV because he lost his amnesty papers related to the Oakwood Mutiny years ago. It turns out the papers are intact.

My son Finn also lost his civics-and-culture textbook last month. But I didn’t call the police and the military. I just told him to borrow a copy from the school. Problem solved, thanks a lot to the principal. The next day, Finn found his textbook and returned the one he had borrowed.

I had a similar experience with Amazon.com. I bought a best-seller called Jesus, Interrupted by Bart Ehrman and it failed to arrive on the promised date. I waited for about a week. Still no book. So, I asked Amazon for a replacement because I suspected someone who couldn’t afford to enroll in a theology school was reading it. Or perhaps the book is banned in the Philippines because it reveals fundamental facts that some clergymen don’t want us to know.

Amazon told me no problem we will send you another fresh copy, and they did. But before I received it, the first one had arrived. I asked Amazon what I should do, and they replied no problem you can have both. So, I wrote in Facebook, “Who wants a brand new copy of Jesus, Interrupted?” Myl Ing raised her hand because she looks like Angelina Jolie so I gave it to her.

Nowadays, I’m beginning to feel signs of second childhood, so sometimes I forget my passwords like tutti(fru)tti616. But no problem. All I have to do is click this and that, and I get a new one. I don’t receive warrants of arrest from Globe Telecom, Norton Antivirus, and Bravenet.

When I was admitted in Polymedic Medical Plaza late in the evening, my caregiver was my ex-girlfriend but she forgot to bring food. Exhausted from work, she fell asleep on a small bed. I didn’t want to disturb her, so around 1:30 am, I carried my dextrose bottle and walked slowly to the nurse station 4C and asked the impossible: Please buy me food from McDonalds because I’m hungry and my ailment might get worse. (These were not my exact words. The original contained a medical term.)

There were about five nurses at the station and they looked at me like uh-uh. But one said ok we will buy our snacks in about an hour anyway. The nurse then took a pen and a sheet of paper and asked for my order. I recall saying one burger with cheese, two burger steaks with extra rice, and four bottles of water. She wrote quickly. When she was done, she said the sweetest thing that day, though I’ve heard it hundreds of times before in many places: “Akong eepeat imong order, sir, ha?” One nurse giggled.

”Ok,” I replied, stunned.

”One cheese burger, two burger steaks with extra rice, and four bottles of water.”

”That’s correct,” I said, then I asked her “Naka-work ka sa …?” but I failed to finish my sentence because her companions were already laughing.

I gave her money and less than an hour later, Clara and I had food and bottles of water as large as oxygen tanks. (It’s a hyperbole. Don’t worry Dr. Go.)

Thank you nurses for helping us beyond your call of duty. You rock! Merry Christmas!

See also http://elson.elizaga.net