Chill, Tita, chill!

Netnet Camomot

ICE cream melts. Makeup melts. A lollipop melts.

But if it’s a human being having a meltdown, it can be the worst sight of all.

On Wednesday, the former justice secretary and now lady senator, who’s presently in a dilemma, had what her “frenemies” may call as a meltdown. Philippine TV networks and at least one national broadsheet aired the press conference live and also via Facebook Live, thus, giving us a glimpse of a face consumed by anger, frustration, and disappointment. The face of a person who has lost control. The daughter of a Rotarian has the perfect advice for that: Chill.

We were in Iligan for the Rotary district conference two years ago. I don’t remember the exact details, but the target of my disappointment then was transportation. That’s when the daughter told me, “Chill, Tita.”

Nowadays, whenever I’m in the midst of a challenge, I remember that advice: Chill. Well, there are days when FB’s tacit offer to vent our emotions is too tempting to ignore, and there I am, posting a meme to express what may end up harsher if I were to write it in my own words.

There was a time when my voice was heard from Aparri to Jolo while chastising my mother’s, hmmm, enemy. This guy sent her a letter which I knew was inspired by his loan from a guy who lent him lots of money. Utang na loob and all that jazz drove him to empathize with his five-six suki, and there was my mother’s blood pressure shooting up through the ceiling after reading the letter.

This was the second time they had done this same desperate attempt. With horrors of the first time still fresh in my memory, I rushed to his store, and not even his wife, who greeted each morning with curses that could silence President Rody Duterte, could insert a word into my soliloquy.

I’m a quiet person. I tend to stay in one corner and observe people. I can stay that way until of course provoked, and that’s when you’ll realize there’s no stopping me from responding to what you’ve started.

I often tell friends that I’m my Tito Saint’s niece but I’m not a living saint. Besides, saints did fight for their rights when they were alive. They didn’t sit around and bahala na si Batman to deal with life on their behalf.

That’s probably the reason behind Sen. Leila de Lima’s presscons: to deal with life head-on. Yeah, like in a collision. Gosh. Senator, chill! There’s a time to speak, and a time to shut the f*** up.

I did my soliloquy only once. And that was for my mother. People had learned to respect her decisions from then on.

There were other occasions that looked worthy of another soliloquy, but in the end, I thought, Nah. Once is enough.

Nowadays, I walk away. It may resemble resignation. But I’m saving myself from s*** not worth my time.

De Lima is 50-ish. It’s the age where you’re supposed to know better. Well, I guess every person remains a child at heart, susceptible to tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants. If you, as a child, had an episode at a toy store after your parents refused to buy one more Furby, then you can definitely relate.

Oh, it wasn’t Furby for you? How about the Powerpuff Girls. Matchbox. Lego Star Wars. Sanrio Little Twin Stars. Barbie. Batman, Superman, Spider-Man. The blonde walking doll whose pair of blue eyes sleeps when it’s lying down—brrrrr.

Easy for a child—that tantrum could convince parents to buy the toy he wants.

Once you reach the age of 50 and above, though, your parents must be too old to deal with your tantrum. And it’s worse if you’re doing it on TV and via Facebook Live. Zzzzzt! Chill, Tita, chill!

There’s this saying, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” De Lima should inject those words into her heart before her next presscon.

All along we thought President Duterte is the nightmare of all public relations nightmares, no thanks to his tendency to blurt out curses and anti-diplomatic and non-politically correct words.

But after de Lima’s Wednesday presscon, we may have to brace ourselves for more PR nightmares.

Part of her nightmare, er, presscon was aimed at the Bilibid riot that Wednesday morning. A riot starring Pinas’s top drug lords. A suspicious Pinoy said she reacted since one of the victims is her close friend. Hmmm. Another Pinoy, who’s gifted with an analytical mind, said de Lima is still expecting the yellow team to support her.

That riot has given birth to conspiracy theories that sound like a Mafia movie. If you’ve seen “The Godfather” series and “Wag the Dog,” then you can relate.

On Monday, de Lima asked President Duterte this question: “May gusto po ba kayo sa akin?” Well, the complete statement was this: “Naawa na po ako sa inyo mahal na Pangulo, tigilan na ninyo ako. Ano po ang gusto ninyo sa akin? May gusto po ba kayo sa akin?”

Two days later, there was the riot. And her immediate reaction to the riot. Oh, well. “We can’t go on together/With suspicious minds/And we can’t build our dreams/On suspicious minds.”