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LADY Gaga would have been proud of Mark Zuckerberg who became the epitome of her song, “Poker Face,” at the US congressional hearings.

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In case you need to be convinced of the importance of the hearings on privacy issues, even Zuckerberg’s attire—suit and tie—was interpreted to be his way of bowing to the US government and its laws.

In Vanessa Friedman’s “Mark Zuckerberg’s I’m Sorry Suit” for The New York Times, she wrote, “for someone who has made a professional and personal signature out of the plain gray tee and jeans—who has posted pictures of the row of gray T-shirts and hoodies hanging in his closet on his Facebook page; whose success has made those gray tees and hoodies into shorthand for a new generation of disrupters, as aspirational an outfit as a Savile Row suit once was—it was as much a visual statement of renunciation and respect as any verbal apology.”

I now play three video games. No, they’re not the kind of games you suspect I play—wink wink. Aside from Homescapes and Gardenscapes, there’s Matchington Mansion which, like the first two, is also a home makeover challenge that requires surviving a level before a certain task can be done.

I learned about these three games through Facebook which has of course monitored my likes and dislikes through the posts and ads I clicked, thereby, guiding them on what I might be interested in. So, my news feed is filled with suggestions on similar games and familiar sentimingaw and motivational advice which are all the same, that is, if only I would finally notice that they’re all as the same as identical twins. Like as if I’m unaware that all these are products of public-image ploys meant to attract more likes, more clueless suckers, and more humok nga ilong easily duped by seemingly wise advice from people who pretend to know it all.

Most of life’s trials and tribulations, though, can be solved with common sense. Say, if you’re not happy, something must be wrong. Simple, eh? Switch that wrong to right and—voila!—you have peace of mind, you can sleep well at night, your eyebrows stop having committee meetings right there above your nose, which, by the way, result to this sour look—mukhasim, murag gikumot ang nawong.

Detoxify not only your body but also your surroundings. If a particular situation gives you that mukhasim, it’s time to let go.

Zuckerberg may have worn a poker face at the hearings but his eyes revealed what the poker face tried to hide. Memes have been posted online about that face, and here’s the best one: “Deer. Headlights.”

And there’s the booster seat he sat on. Gosh. There is no end.

There was a time when we anxiously waited for a roll of film to be developed, not knowing if the photos we took were blurred or—worse—dark, with no images at all. We didn’t have to pay for the absolutely dark ones—the photo-processing store chose not to print them anymore. Those were Jurassic days. Imagine taking photos of the Grand Canyon only to find out you don’t have even one clear photo of a once-in-a-lifetime visit. Would you then book the next flight to return to your most favorite place in the world?

Facebook has become a photo album and diary for some people. It also reminds you of posts made years ago when you were slimmer, fatter, whatever. But it’s not the only time waster in this oh so cruel world. Video games, TV, and Netflix are also way up there in the hierarchy of doodling. Or look at your planner—there must be at least one item in the to-do list that’s also uselessly eating up precious time.

A smartphone paired with Facebook can bring you to anything live at the moment. There’s Zuckerberg’s poker face facing photojournalists and US lawmakers. There’s President Rody Duterte and his daughter Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte-Carpio plus her colorful leg tattoo posing for photos with People’s Republic of China President Xi Jinping and his wife Peng Liyuan. There’s your FB friend asking, Am I live? Unsaon pag-Live? Live na ba ni? Um, yes, you are Live, so Live, we’re watching your confusion and your hands as you all try to decipher the intricacies of Facebook Live.

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