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Digital detox

Netnet Camomot .

SIMON Cowell has no mobile phone. If it’s possible for a busy man like him, surely it’s also possible for the rest of humanity. But what comes to mind is a battalion of assistants taking phone calls that are meant for him and a noisy landline constantly ringing in his office and at home.

For ordinary mortals like us, however, we are our own assistant. A ringing landline always jolts me out of my fats, enough to shock the mile-wide butt off the chair, only to listen to the caller ask about an office or store. Wrong number again.

Cowell is not alone in quitting some technological perks. On Sept. 8, Yahoo Finance’s Katie Krzaczek reported that Pew Research Center’s survey on Facebook “asked about users if, over the past year, they had adjusted their privacy settings, taken a break from the app for several weeks or more, or deleted the app from their phone.

“A full 74% of respondents had taken one of those actions, including 42% who have actually taken a break for at least several weeks.

“And 26% of respondents—including 44% users ages 18 to 29—went as far as deleting the app from their phone.”

Yahoo Finance’s Dan Roberts also said that he “deleted the app from my phone… And yes, I’ve taken a break from using it… I just find that Facebook now has so much noise, so much clutter.”

Oh. To what percentage will I belong if ever I’ll be asked, too—74, 42, 26 or 44? Hmmm. Definitely not the 44 percent—I’m not 18 to 29 years old. Haha!

But “taken a break from the app for several weeks or more”? How is that possible? Without Facebook, I won’t know that Angelica Panganiban has an elevator in her house and she uses a backpack in lieu of a branded and expensive bag. Yes, this is important news—peeking into the life of the rich and famous.

Still, despite the latest in technology, the Cagayanon still has to travel to Manila for concerts, Broadway shows, and global flagship stores. “Simply no place like Manila,” as the Hotdog classic hit goes.

President Rody Duterte, however, went to Hong Kong with his common-law wife Honeylet Avancena and their daughter Kitty. And, of course, there was the Pinoy speculating the president went there for medical treatment. That’s the prize of being a political figure—the Pinoy will always have question marks hovering overhead in the absence of transparency.

Unlike showbiz celebrities who could hibernate and use that as one more publicity ploy to remain relevant—i.e., John Lloyd Cruz and Ellen Adarna—a politician’s team needs to release medical bulletins to assure the madlang pehpohl of his capability to function as a government official.

But the secrecy on health issues could be due to succession, since the obvious successor is not acceptable to the incumbent. Thus, there’s the draft federal constitution of House Speaker Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and her minions, er, allies, which will have the Senate President as successor. But a Rappler piece reported that even Senate President Tito Sotto said, “We don’t have time to even talk about it… We don’t even know if I’m still SP by then.” No, not KSP—kulang sa pansin. It’s SP for Senate President.

Senator Franklin Drilon, a former SP, had a more brutally frank reaction to the draft: “It’s dead on arrival.”

“Simply because we have no more time,” Drilon added. “Even looking at the merits, of which I have very serious reservations personally, I don’t find the proposal logical. I’m sure they realized there is simply no time. It doesn’t take rocket science to realize that.”

If ever Arroyo will run for senator in the future, the Pinoy will have only one thought bubble: Alam na!

Ang sarap naman ng buhay ng politicians—they can create laws for their own benefit. While the madlang pehpohl can only sigh and say, Bahala na si Batman.

But for now, it’s “Venom” showing in theaters near you.

The only alien I ever liked was ET. So, why am I liking Venom? I was laughing while watching the movie. How how the carabao was that possible with my one and only description for aliens: creepy. And Venom looks exactly like the alien in “Alien” movies. Or at least that’s how I remember the “Alien” alien. But once Venom talks, I find him funny. Gosh. Don’t judge a book by its cover—I finally get it.

While Hollywood is using the latest in technology to make Venom scary, there seems to be a contest in Pinas for the slowest internet connection.

In this age of instant coffee, instant noodles and Facebook Live, slow internet should be as extinct as the dinosaur. But it’s when the internet glides like a snail that Cowell’s mobile-phone detox starts to make sense.

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