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TODAY is Erection Day. Oops! Sorry, typo. It’s Election Day! Whew.

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There’s this coloring book filled with penises. Yes, penises. Each page with a drawing of a penis that you can color from top to bottom, bottom to top, or you can start in the middle, left side, right side, whatever part pleases you more.

And the Cagayanon can use any color he wants–yellow, orange, violet, yellow-orange, he can combine yellow and violet for his mango-ube surprise, violet and orange for his ube-orange shocker, or unite all three colors for his Halo-halo of Golden Friendship. Yum!

The better choice is to use only one color. May look boring but the Cagayanon has learned his lesson: Having a mayor and a vice mayor of different colors, and a city council composed mostly of the vice mayor’s color, can result to city government officials who are constantly at war with each other.

Having all colors inside the august halls of city hall is the ideal setup so that there are checks and balances on how these politicians are behaving, with each color always keeping its eyes open to see what the other colors are up to.

But if the constant checking and balancing are leaning towards politics instead of genuine public service, then it morphs to lip service. A waste of time, resources, and, uh, lips.

If the mayor still succeeds anyway despite the lack of support from the vice mayor and majority of the city council, you can’t help dream of the success that the city government would have had they all worked together towards the same goal.

But there’s supposedly this thing called crab mentality. Or call it envy, jealousy. A friend described that to me, and I was like, Is that the same as this feeling I get when someone is feasting on lechon and all I can have is a protein shake?

We had a team building last Saturday and our facilitator Tina Concepcion asked us to bring two gifts: “Something that you would want to receive from someone, and something that would be very useful for someone to make his/her life better.”

For the first gift–“want to receive from someone”–the first thought that came to mind was a piggy since I collect piggies. Then, it morphed to lechon. I mean, anyone out there who doesn’t want free lechon? Yeah!

But on the eve of Election Day, it could be ham from one particular political color in Cagayan de Oro, like those hams they gave away as gifts last Christmas. Yum pa rin?

If only we can base our choices from president to city councilor on who gave us hams. Hmmm. Hum na lang ta.

As of Friday, there was a bit of a deja vu as it seemed like Mar Roxas was about to give way again to a more popular presidentiable. Hay naku. Bakit ba ganyan, Kuya? Kind of always the bridesmaid but never the bride? Er, always the groomsman but never the groom. Uh, back to Erection Day again.

Oops! Election Day diay.

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