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“ORO, Plata, Mata,” “Itim,” and “Heneral Luna” are three of the Pinoy movies that prove it’s possible for the Pinoy to produce quality films.

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And then, there’s “Gandarrapiddo: The Revenger Squad” where Vice Ganda made us laugh again the way he always does through his “It’s Showtime” hugot lines.

Before watching “Ang Dalawang Mrs. Reyes,” I expected it to be, well, not exactly as great as “Heneral Luna” but still way up there. Somehow the presence of Judy Ann Santos and Angelica Panganiban is enough to convince the audience that their movie won’t be the “Gandarrapido” kind.

With Sharon Cuneta’s most recent “Unexpectedly Yours,” which made me an Ate Shawie fan, also upping the ante on Pinoy films, there I was on Wednesday night watching the two Mrs. Reyeses, and only one thought began to occupy my minute brain: Who was I kidding? This is definitely not “Heneral Luna,” and not even “Unexpectedly Yours.” I waited and waited for a moment, only to end up wishing I should have watched “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” again.

Still, we will continue to watch movies that sound interesting.

“Dunkirk,” though, didn’t sound interesting. War movies. Ugh. Last Saturday night, with no idea what to watch while having post-dinner coffee, we settled with “Dunkirk” and were pleasantly surprised. Lesson learned: Don’t judge a movie by its title.

But let’s go back to “Oro, Plata, Mata” and “Itim,” two of the movies that only the senior is familiar with. Mention these films to millennials and they’ll all be, Huh? Oro what?

There was this war movie way back in 1993. Its title, “Schindler’s List.” It has remained fresh, thanks to its World War II scenario, and millennials who watch it will probably be amazed to realize that it’s an old movie.

Now, those born in 1993 will be 25 years old this year. 25! Gosh.

And I have pamangkins who are now in their 30s, I have a nephew who’s even older than me, yup, time flies so fast, even rockets can’t keep up.

You reach a certain age and take note of the things you’ve done so far, and if you’re now facing a ho-hum list of achievements, should that be a warning for an onslaught of regrets? What will matter anyway when you’re already old and wrinkled and the brain has stopped processing memories, when you can’t even recognize your own children.

Eighty is supposedly the new 60, 70 is the new 50, 60 is the new 40, and so on and so forth. So, what’s the real age then of an infant—minus 20?

There will come a time when a senior-citizen card will be given to you once you’re 80 since that’s the new 60.

Even the biological clock has stopped ticking too loudly since women can freeze their eggs and hire surrogate mothers. But they still have to take care of their newborn babies. Imagine a senior dealing with her baby’s crying spells at 2 am.

The 20s, which may now be the newborn age, are still the best time for a woman to have babies. She’s young, has no senior-moment afflictions, and can have sleepless nights with no need to recuperate for at least two days. There’s postpartum depression, but at least the younger a woman is, the better equipped her health is in dealing with that.

Twenty-five was the best age to get married once upon a time. Nowadays, women prefer to build a career in their 20s, then considering marriage and having their first baby in their 30s or even 40s. I don’t know if that marriage consideration is based on panic, i.e., Oh, my, I’m 39, gotta have babies!

There are women who don’t panic at all. They go from 29 to 39 to 49, and they’re like, Oh, I’m 49. No pressure. Had there been personal pressure, they would have been married by the age of 29, since that’s kind of the helicopter in “Miss Saigon”—the last chance.

Relatives will always ask the single woman in the family, When are you getting married? Once they stop asking, that means that single woman is now too old to get married.

“Ang Dalawang Mrs. Reyes” is about marriage. That is, if you unknowingly married a gay man. Meaning, you were not aware that he’s gay and only learned the truth, say, after five years of marriage. You mean, you didn’t notice? The way he looks at men, the way he behaves when men are around, the way he touches another man’s lap and his hand stays there for the longest time.

Cindy Reyes (Panganiban) is especially shocked since her husband Felix (JC de Vera) is great in bed—during the three times they do have sex in a year.

Yes, a maximum of three times per year. If that’s not a hint, I don’t know what other signs she needed to be convinced that he’s gay.

Santos is Lianne Reyes, that’s why the movie’s title is… Yup, it’s not that complicated.

Watching movies on a big screen is one way to invest in experiences. But next time, better wait for the reviews before buying movie tickets.

At least one “Mrs. Reyes” review, though, rated it four out of five stars. Hmmm. There’s this saying: Blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.

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