Expectedly theirs

Netnet Camomot

BOTH Homescapes and Gardenscapes have unlimited lives, complete with the infinity symbol, as perks if you’ve been sugar and spice and everything nice.

But since we’re big girls now and don’t fit the answer to “What are little girls made of,” we have to figure out the long and winding road to these unlimited lives that are given to us at the most inappropriate moments—when we’re meeting deadlines and catching up with appointments. Or at 12 midnight, with the senior-moment sleeping hours of 10 pm to 3 am demanding respect or else.

In other words, these perks happen when we don’t have enough time to play. So, the challenge is how to earn the perks at the most appropriate moment, preferably on a rainy Sunday when we have an excuse to do nothing but play. Oh, well. If Sharon Cuneta were to sing for this, her line would be, “Mr. DJ, can I make a request?”

Ate Shawie has had good composers for her songs, that must be one secret to her longevity in showbiz. But the one thing we can relate with is the long and winding road she has travelled with her fats. Losing a single pound or even a fraction of a pound is a constant challenge that we face daily as we’re bombarded with breakfast, lunch and dinner invites, plus the aroma of bulad emanating from the neighbor’s kitchen. And that’s not the next-door neighbor but the one far far away—the other phases in the village, more particularly the one at the ridge where a cousin lives and which the recovering knee has to reach by car. All I have to do is text the cousin: Are you having bulad for breakfast? And the answer would be a resounding yes. My sense of smell for food is quadrillion-percent keen.

It’s great to know that Ate Shawie is still making movies despite her fats since other showbiz stars would rather hibernate for a while, to be revealed a year later as a slimmer sugar and spice and everything nice.

Her latest movie is “Unexpectedly Yours” which she leads with Robin Padilla, Julia Barretto, and Joshua Garcia. Since “love comes from the most unexpected places” according to singer/songwriter Kim Carnes, the movie’s script should have dared to pair Robin with Julia, and Ate Shawie with Joshua. Or Robin with Joshua, and Ate Shawie with Julia. But that’s not happening with the movie whose title should be Expectedly Yours.

The extremely Catholic Pinoy is not ready to accept unexpected pairings. For meals, though, he may pair bulad with toasted wheat bread in his desperate attempt to follow a diet, but for human pairings, he’s a stickler for the usual. He’s also the type who sticks to the missionary position once he’s married because that’s what the Bible supposedly teaches. If not married, he remains a virgin for life.

But not every extremely Catholic Pinoy is a virgin or a stickler for expected pairings. He’s probably still waiting for the most appropriate moment to come out of his shell. If ever that happens, voila!

“Unexpectedly” will be showing on Nov. 29. It’s “Justice League” that’s showing right now in a cinema near you, and the combined superpowers of Warner Bros. and D.C. are sad with its opening weekend earnings which they expected to reach $110 million. Reality, however, came up with a measly $94 million. This is the movie that has Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, add to that Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg. Only $94 million for all five? Or even this: only $94 million for Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman?

Here’s a glimpse on other opening weekend earnings: “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice,” $166 million; “Man of Steel,” $116.6 million; “Wonder Woman,” $103.3 million; even “Suicide Squad” had more, at $133.7 million. So, yes, the superpowers behind “Justice League” should be worried.

Movies that have a megastar or superheroes are expected to give the highest return on investment. That’s the reason investors invest in these movies in the first place. What happened to “Kita Kita” is rare, earning unexpected millions of kita sa takilya, which seldom happens for films with less-than-mega lead actors.

Unmet expectations can be painful. It happens to relationships, friends, work. In case you’re still expecting the unexpected, here’s the perfect antidote for that, from 18th-century English Poet Alexander Pope: “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

Yes, 18th century. We’re now in the 21st century. We should know better.