Has your back

Netnet Camomot . 

WITH the election gun ban that began on Sunday, here’s a wish-ko-lang: for extrajudicial and other killings to become history. Well, we can dream, can’t we?

“Nanlaban” is the convenient excuse for drug raids that have gone awry, with the family of the “nanlaban” wishing there was a functioning closed-circuit television camera to prove otherwise and its footage has not been destroyed.

Now that it’s election period, the wannabe also has an excuse—for premature campaigning, that is: Ay, abi nako campaign period na, election period man diay. Hmmm. Is there a diff according to the eye of the political candidate?

It does look like desperation time for a candidate once he’s giving away panties that have his name plastered on the back, which could be one way for him to, uh, kiss a**.

The candidate will do anything to be noticed. Aside from kissing your a**, he will also kiss your feet on Maundy Thursday, since the usual campaign strategy of singing, dancing, and kissing babies now has a rival in attracting the interest of the madlang pehpohl, and that’s the fight of the century: Kris Aquino versus Nicko Falcis. Gosh. These two should shut up and move forward to their court case already. I now miss the Kris of yesteryears, the one that always managed to steal the spotlight from her interviewees, the once-upon-a-time Kris who would rather discuss expensive fashion trends with her co-host Boy Abunda.

Kris should teach political candidates the ABCs of an effective public-image machinery. But with her plans to run for office sometime in the near future, I guess she’d rather keep those ABCs to herself and her team. Falcis has kind of spilled the beans, though, through his interviews, and he even used some of Kris’ strategies—tell all and cry. With a box of tissues nearby.

It’s Realization 101 for both Kris and Falcis as each of them continues to learn who among those around them are truly their people. Try that for yourself—who are your people? If your answer to that is, No one, aguy, pag-hibernate na lang sa Siberia.

Showbiz and politics are two areas where finding your people is like looking for a needle in a haystack. If you’re neither in showbiz nor in politics but you’re feeling the same way, aguy, unsaon na lang.

Your people are those who always have your back. No, not the back of your panty. For a clearer definition, here’s one from Urban Dictionary: “When someone has your back, they are there to support you unconditionally. When life seems to blindside you with undesirable events, they’re there for you without complaint, supporting you in your moment of need, not for their own selfish, self-gratifying reasons, but because your well-being to them is foremost in their mind and heart.”

Urban Dictionary also reveals that the phrase—“got your back”—has a showbiz story: “This originally came from old movies and TV shows where two people are in a dangerous situation (usually hunting criminals or other enemies), and one of them is going to venture forward. The other person stays behind and watches for any danger coming from behind or other directions that the first person is unlikely to see. The one who stays behind typically has a weapon, to fend off any attackers.”

If these definitions have convinced you that you have no one, tsk tsk, kawawa ka naman. Still, be strong and keep the faith. In other words, good luck na lang. Showbiz people and politicians have been there, done that with all sorts of people, if they can survive through all that, surely you can survive, too.

And survival is the political candidate’s goal as he prepares for campaign sorties through dancing and singing lessons—that’s the thin line between politics and show business, with actors morphing into politicians and vice versa. Kind of, that’s entertainment! With the current edition of entertainment coming from Vice Ganda whose latest revelation involved his being called Sir by a flight attendant (FA): “‘Pag bumabiyahe ho ako, hindi ito ang buhok ko, blonde na mahaba. Siyempre kasi papansin ako sa foreigner, ‘di ba? Blonde na mahaba, tapos kapal ng make-up ko, naka-lipstick ako, ang iksi ng damit ko, tapos tinawag akong ‘Sir.’” He said he then asked the FA, “Sige sabihin mo sa akin, anong bahagi ng katawan ko ang mukhang lalaki para mabago ko.” And the FA replied, “Sorry po, Sir!”

But a Facebook friend did point out a particular body part that’s still making Vice “mukhang lalaki.” Well, Vice can afford to have it changed if that’s his ultimate dream.