Ideal idea

Netnet Camomot .

DELL Crossword Puzzles has many clues for the word “idea”: “think-tank output,” “scheme,” “notion,” “brainstorm,” “mental conception,” “concept,” “thought.” Simply add “s” to these words and the answer is their plural form—i.e., “brainstorms” for “ideas.”

Out of 52 puzzles, “idea” or “ideas” appears nine times, which may give you an idea that Dell is running out of words. But, of course, it’s not. Using “idea” is ideal for the crossword puzzle fan who needs many correct answers to guide him in solving the puzzle.

Many ideas have morphed into reality, and they could start with the simple question, What if?

The Dell founder’s dreams surely started with an idea: What if I publish puzzle magazines, will people buy them?

Former President Ferdinand Marcos and his family, if all the allegations against them are proven to be true, perhaps began his alleged grafting and corrupting with, What if I steal from the national treasury, will the Pinoy notice?

Former President Erap Estrada: What if I run for Manila mayor after my eventful stint as president, will I win?

Former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo: What if I wear a neck brace and use a wheelchair, will I be allowed to enjoy the perks of a hospital arrest?

“Gloria, you’re always on the run now,” as the song goes. But Arroyo couldn’t run while in her wheelchair.

“Gloria, don’t you think you’re fallin’?/If everybody wants you, why isn’t anybody callin’?” The song continues. But Arroyo is back, which proves there are many people who have been calling her and preventing her absolute fall from grace.

For now, though, it’s the “Glorious” trailer that’s attracting more views, its fans won’t be shocked if it will eventually reach as many as Facebook’s 2.27 billion active users. This can be Arroyo’s wish-ko-lang, too, for her preferred number of fans as she tries to win the heart of the Pinoy now that the plan to make the Senate President as the President’s successor has gone pfft.

Arroyo, who’s a former senator, could have begun her political déjà vu through the next Senate race had that plan pushed through. But with the heir to the throne now back to the Vice President (VP) again, she can aim for that instead in 2022. She will then be 75 years old while recalling her VP days with then President Erap who was boated, er, booted out of Malacanang and she gloriously took his place.

Some political surnames are on instant replay in Pinas, with fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, sons and daughters-in-law, daughters and sons-in-law, grandchildren, apo sa tuhod, apo sa talampakan, apo sa kalingkingan, uncles and aunts, cousins and cousins-in-law, nephews and nieces, ad nauseam joining the fray.

Like as if political talent is exclusive to these families. Dili puede mosingit ang madlang pehpohl. But who wants to make singit? Political life can be a headache, with a political candidate already gaining frenemies the moment he files his certificate of candidacy, inspiring the potential Pinoy voter to ask, Nganong modagan man na siya, wala man na siyay K.

K as in karapatan. K as in kuarta.

At least he has that most important K: kapal ng mukha.

It takes a lot of guts to run for political office. Aside from karapatan, kuarta and kapal ng mukha, the candidate should also be able to deliver speeches in the dialect that his potential voters can understand. The Pinoy likes people who can speak his language, easier to gain his friendship that way. And that’s true for any other nationality, thus, a singer or band learns to say hello and goodbye in the language of the country where they’re performing.

Maayong buntag, says the good secretary. Buntag na, Sir, says the naughty secretary. No lost-in-translation for the boss in both scenarios.

Sen. Manny Pacquiao did deliver his speech in English at Oxford Union and University of Cambridge where he talked about his “university of life” and rags-toiches story.

At Oxford, he said, “I am intimidated when I think of the kind of main event headliners who faced you over the years: Sir Winston Churchill, American Presidents Reagan, Nixon and Carter, Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, and Sir Elton John.” Wow. It’s indeed a great privilege to be invited to speak there.

Pacman’s achievements speak much louder than his Bisaya accent, the query each time he’s around should now be, How to be you po?

But the only question I did ask him before Election 2016 was, Humot kaayo ka, unsa imong cologne? His reply, which I kept hearing as “Blue” amidst the noise from the fans and selfie-takers around him, was, “Polo Blue.”

I didn’t ask about his childhood. I didn’t ask about his championship belts. I didn’t ask about Jinkee and Mommy Dionisia. The only thing I noticed was his scent, which was probably instrumental, too, in his victory in the 2016 Senate race.

Let’s ask Tony Labrusca if his cologne is also Polo Blue. If it is, no wonder his “Glorious” intimate scenes with Angel Aquino reminded the cougar, er, matrona, er, woman of a certain age, of George Estregan’s kissing scenes. The tongue!

George who? The brother of former President Erap. Which may trigger more confusion among the millennials: Estrada, Ejercito, Estregan—ano ba talaga, Kuya?

Meanwhile, I’m waiting to see this Dell clue: “ostentatiously extravagant, sometimes to the point of vulgarity.” That’s the definition for “imeldific.”