Keber

Netnet Camomot

ON the fifth day of my latest diet-and-exercise program, my weight remained maintain na maintain. So, I asked my sis why. And she replied: You’re building a muscle.

Unsa ba kadako na nga muscle nga kinahanglan man gyud i-build? Like a house? A tower? Skyscraper? Darn. And, please take note, it’s singular––muscle––and not plural with an s–muscles.

This is the latest among the many diets and exercises I’ve been through. Yes, I try so hard. I lose weight, then I gain more once I’ve given up on the diet and exercise. On and off, with more off than on.

Political candidates are also trying so hard nowadays––with more off than on, too?––and Cagayan de Oro’s yellow party is proving to be the best party the city has ever had because, well, haven’t you noticed? Both the violet and orange parties are “pirating” members from the yellow. OK, they were not “pirated,” they were invited, convinced, promised. As in, promise!

And the yellow’s reaction to that? Keber. As in, don’t care, come what may, whatever.

When you hear about some yellow city councilors complaining that the yellow mayor ignored their expressed thoughts during meetings and instead focused on his appointed department heads’ thought bubbles, you have to start thinking, Does this have to do with brains? Like some people have no brains and, therefore, listening to them is so not… Oops, do you even have the brains to say who has brains or no brains? You could be wrong, you know.

Besides, the yellow city mayor would not have invited them to join the yellow party in 2013 if they have no brains. And now, the ube and orange parties have invited them for the 2016 election, proving that their brains are worth fighting for. Or telling them to change color pa more, transfer pa more, balimbing pa more. Oops, is there a politically term for balimbing?

But they’re not balimbing at all. They simply want to be with the party that can appreciate their brains. That’s a basic human need––to be appreciated, recognized, acknowledged. That’s why Facebook clicks. Click Like. Click Comment. Click Share. And when all else fails, click Messenger where you will be seenzoned till violet turns yellow which may not happen at all. Ouch.

Being seenzoned is like having no replies to your texts because your message’s recipient is presumable busy. You have to presume that’s the truth and nothing but, otherwise you will start suspecting the recipient doesn’t care about you, and you’ll end up like one of those forgotten senior citizens in New York––alone, lonely, left to count the days till Saint Peter invites them to enter the pearly gates.

Now, how could your friends ignore your texts and messages? Busy nga sila, eh, and you have to hammer that thought into your brain until it becomes your instant reaction to their seenzoning and ignoring.

You have no multi-million peso and dollar deposits, no deals, no transactions, you’re nada, zilch, zero, not worth the trouble of replying to, not the kind of person they can be busy with. It takes a long time to get used to that but eventually acceptance will take over although it could be only the brain convincing you to accept––mind over matter kunohay. But deep in your heart, you know something is not right, and the time will come for that one particular aha moment to arrive, helping you realize why all these have to happen.

Here’s the ultimate unsolicited advice: act like a politician, and develop the keber muscle.