Kindness begins with me

Maria Christina Concepcion

FOR many people, life is difficult. If we really look hard enough we will see that there’s a lot of suffering going around, and the reason for such are aplenty.

For example, there’s poverty. Then there’s sickness and death due to diseases, illness, and accident. A little disheartening, right?

We have a drug addiction problem as a society and it has affected and destroyed marriages, homes, and families.

And this may sound unimportant to many, or trivial, but I believe that we also have a problem on pornography which has caused marital problems and has affected our youth.

Roaming our city streets are undernourished children who ask money from drivers, commuters, and pedestrians. Occasionally we see one, two, or three “taong grasa” walking along major thoroughfares or sitting in street corners or sidewalk with their “belongings” wrapped in trash bags.

I have talked to a few parents personally whose kids are malnourished because they have very little food. They have rice, yes, but often they eat the rice with “ginamos” or in worst days, with only salt or soy sauce as viand.

I have known a few people who have cried in desperation because of problems that for them seems hopeless already. I have friends who are lonely and depressed. There is simply too much hardship and suffering around us.

At this point, can I ask you stop for a brief moment and look around you? What do you see? Try to look a little closer and observe the people around you. Have you ever wondered what each of them is going through? What could their personal problems be? Their challenges? Their difficulties? I’ve done this many, many times and from all these thought-provoking experiences, I have come up to a resolve that may seem unrealistic to many but one that works for me–I have decided to try my best to always look for the good in everyone and everything, as much as I can, even in the direst of situations. I have decided that I will try my best to be kind.

Maybe you’re wondering why…

Well, first of all, because I believe in the saying, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Second, because of another saying that “What you want, give.” It is the Golden Rule in a very simple, shortened sentence.

I learned that when I do, I end up a better person afterwards. For example, when a person I know says or does something unnecessary or uncalled for to someone (like insulting a fast-food chain cashier for taking too long), I try to put myself in this person’s “shoes” and try to see things in his or her perspective. I often ask this question: Why would he or she do such a thing? And I try to come up with possible reasons, always giving the person the benefit of the doubt. Always, when I do this (and I have done this many times), I end up as a less judgmental person.

The two most important learning for me are these: First, that the more I focus on the good (despite the bad), the better I feel towards others afterwards. Second, by trying to be more understanding, I find inner peace.

Every day is a struggle for me, but I know one thing to be true–it’s all worth it!

Would you like to try doing this too?

(Maria Christina I. Concepcion is a member of the Rotary Club of Kalayaan CDO, and is a soft skills trainer specializing in teambuilding.)