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Netnet Camomot

THERE was that day years ago when we had dinner at a resto. It had this aquarium-like kitchen that any curious diner could stare at, in case he’s interested in learning how his meal is cooked. But what we saw was this gigantic plastic container filled with monosodium glutamate. How sure were we? MSG–in bold huge letters–was written on the container. Probably to discourage the clueless from believing it’s salt, flour, baking soda, sugar, baking powder, powdered milk…

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MSG, those three initials that make resto food yummy but with a warning sign from health gurus for it’s harmful to our health. There are even patients whose doctor-prescribed diets specifically exclude MSG.

Thus, upon learning that Cagayan de Oro’s yellow mayor has been dismissed because of the Ajinomoto case, the first thought that came to my mind was, MSG is definitely bad for the health.

On Friday evening, I saw him at the Mesa Verte Residences’ grand launch, and I was so tempted to ask him, Musta na ang dismissed mayor? Ah, hehe. But that would have been the worst question ever.

There are a few people in this oh so exciting world whose effect on me is to shut up unless I want my duhness to be revealed, and the yellow mayor is one of those few people. Whenever he’s around, all I want is to listen to him because if I utter a single word, surely that would reveal the little knowledge I have about anything. Hey, I slept not only during History classes, but also in Science, basic Math, Physics, Algebra, Trigonometry, Geometry, even Religion. I’m a CPA but my accounting lingo has been reduced to debit and credit. Yes, my CPA version is definitely chicken pork adobo now. But my diet guru has banned pork from my diet plan, so…

On Friday morning, after our Rotary club’s weekly feeding for the students of Malasag Elementary School, we were having lunch with the teachers and somehow our topic veered towards photosynthesis and chlorophyll, thanks to the sili plant, with those shiny red sili still attached, that was on the dining table. And I had to ask, Photo what? Chloro who? And the teachers happily taught me about what I missed while sleeping throughout all those Science classes.

Anyway, you get this feeling, while talking with the yellow mayor, that he’s gauging your intelligence. Or your mind, what’s in your brain. And once he has a rough estimate, he adjusts accordingly. So, I shut up and listen well. Who knows, all the things I missed in school, I could somehow learn from him, too. Yeah, Science, Math, Physics, from Professor Yellow. Hehe. But of course he doesn’t have the time to teach people Science and whatever, for he has a city to run.

Oops! My bad. He no longer has a city to run. He has been dismissed, remember? For allegedly reducing a potential tax collection from P2.9 million to P300 thousand? I’m not sure.

I learned about the dismissal news from our high school class’ Facebook group. Yup, my high school classmates and I chat about serious matters. No AlDub and OTWOL updates, puhleeze. Hehe.

AlDub who? OTWOL? Go ask another FB high school group because I and my high school classmates have absolutely no idea. Haha!

It was on Thursday afternoon when a classmate posted this question, Net, naunsa man nang news kay Moreno uy… sure na?

And it seemed like everyone else in our group knew what she was referring to. And here I was asking, “Ay clueless ko what happened?” My exact words. O my gas.

My initial reaction to the taxeduction case was, Ako na lang unta ang gitagaan ug discount. But I didn’t ask for any despite some friends’ advice to go to the city treasurer. Joker man gud. Why implement the tax rates previously approved by the past administration if you would be giving discounts man diay in the end?

Being the only classmate who writes a column, I have morphed from quiet Netnet to know-it-all Netnet, thus, their tendency to ask me about banner news. If only they know what’s in my minute Jurassic brain. Dinosaur pa more!

The yellow mayor is intelligent. Well, I’d like to believe he is. But he is, is he not? I remember watching former President Erap Estrada’s impeachment case where our yellow mayor was one of the “starring” people, if we are to borrow the showbiz lingo the now Mayor Erap is presumably familiar with. Our yellow mayor was then a congressman representing a district in our province, Misamis Oriental. I thought then he would run for the Senate right after, to take advantage of his newly found nationwide popularity. But he went back to the province and became governor later. Not only intelligent but humble, too?

Despite the many batikos against the yellow mayor and the aroma of urine that has continued to be the aura of Divisoria and the surrounding streets and sidewalks of Cogon Market, you have to admit that this is one mayor who has done well in a short span of three years. Majority of the violet-controlled city council may not have supported him, but he was able to march forward with his projects. And now, even his yellow city councilors are not with him anymore. Dios ko day. Bakit ba ganyan?

What has the louder voice in the city, anyway? Public service? Money? Power? Commission? Vested interest? Puede ba, limit it to the one and the only public service? Because we are tired na of thinking of the what-ifs.

What if the violet mayor is back at city hall. O my gas. Violet curtains. Violet flyovers. Night cafe. Even worse traffic than what we have now.

What if the orange mayoral candidate wins. O my gas. Orange curtains! Orange flyovers! But most probably more concrete roads to remote barangays in the city, which is great news actually.

But I’m sure all the other politicians in the city are now careful in giving discounts to anyone, and that includes their commission rates? Uh, ah, nope, not that. Because there’s no discount when it comes to commissions? Uh, ah, not that, too. Because the truth is, there are no commissions–hmmm, we can dream, can’t we?

But here’s one thing for sure. All the politicians in the city are now allergic to MSG. Its harmful effects are already evident in the yellow mayor and the city treasurer, let that serve as a warning to all Cagayanons.

MSG, anyone?

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