Post-Christmas spree

Netnet Camomot . 

ALL that food ended up in your waist, hips, cottage-cheese thighs, upper arms, face, even the nose. Yeah, blame it on Christmas. Kaluoy tawon ni Jesus—His birthday is always blamed for the holiday-season eating, drinking, shopping despite the fact that it’s the Christmas tree and not the nativity scene that’s often the focus of Christmas.

Once it’s January, malls and stores do try to inspire more shopping by offering post-Christmas sales and there’s the wise and hopefully not gullible shopper buying Christmas decors at major-percent off. Some winter clothes are also on sale by now, with stores in Pinas probably presuming the Pinoy is back home after his winter vacation with Santa in the North Pole and, thus, would no longer need thermal wear and thick jackets.

Food cravings will surely continue, though, even without a buy-one-take-one on hams, since the tummy has expanded after the Christmas binge and is now used to digesting more food than the usual. So, give yourself a break—don’t expect to lose weight this January. There’s February, anyway, and the Valentine reminder of lost loves to suppress the appetite for food and switch it to moments of indulging in muni-muni while watching “Love Actually” for the nth time.

“If love is blind

I’ll find my way with you

Cause I can’t see myself

Not in love with you”

Hahay. Kanta na lang ta ani? Napakasakit, Kuya Eddie. Haha!

But there’s at least one person whose minute brain is focusing instead on questions such as, Can a steel filing cabinet suck the coziness out of a home office? Is a home office allowed to be cozy? Should the mini fridge stay in the home office?

January is the best time to ask questions which could start from that Diana Ross song, “Do you know where you’re going to?”

On Tuesday and Wednesday, however, at least one Cagayanon didn’t know how to reach or leave his office as some streets in Cagayan de Oro (CDO) were closed for the Traslacion, and authorities were strict in imposing traffic rules. Say, if your car was parked nearby but you were trapped now in the restricted route for the Traslacion, that meant walking around some blocks in order to reach your car which, again, was so near, you could almost touch it. And that happened hours before the procession to someone who was leaving the Traslacion route and not entering that route. So, kudos to the strict traffic enforcer for truly enforcing the rules. If only he could do the same on regular days, CDO’s traffic woes would become as extinct as fruitcakes. But fruitcakes are still around, there’s even one in the mini fridge right now. Yum!

The anticipation for the Traslacion was palpable even among non-devotees who worried about the traffic and the absence of cellphone signals. But those with WiFi and who found a valid reason to be late for work were like, Ho-hum, what, me worry?

So, Jesus was again the reason, this time, for the traffic on Tuesday and Wednesday? Oh, my.

Traffic is now the most reliable reason for tardiness. Those living in uptown CDO are aware they have to leave the house 30 minutes before a set appointment downtown. For the morning rush hour, they have to leave an hour before, due to the expected traffic near Pryce Plaza. It’s possible for the uptowner to arrive early if there’s no traffic and while waiting for other people, he checks out Facebook and Messenger, and order an appetizer if the meeting venue is a resto. For several minutes, he’s alone while reading texts from friends who are stuck in traffic: Sorry, ma-late ko, traffic kaayo diri.

Decades ago, a Cagayanon could never give traffic as a reason for being late for an appointment in CDO. Imagine how it would have sounded then in the ’70s: Sorry, ma-late ko, traffic kaayo diri sa Corrales.

We played patintero at Corrales Avenue. Yes, on the street. That was our playground in the ’70s.

Well, it’s still a playground now but for some other games.

Corrales was a residential area then. And perhaps it’s still a residential area now that it has at least three condominium buildings.

A former Corrales resident who left the city in the ’70s and has not returned since then won’t be able to recognize it now. There’s the shock on his face once his flight lands at Laguindingan airport and he travels from there to CDO. Wide roads! Jollibee and McDonald’s outlets along the highway! Even I was shocked upon seeing the Chowking branch along the highway at Kauswagan on Tuesday night—where did that come from?!

How to lose weight with all the fast food restos around us. Burp.

And if you have continued eating out after the holidays, aguy, good luck na lang.