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‘Tambay’ gospel

Ric Maulion .

PRESIDENT Duterte did it! Yes, Sir, his imprudent “stupid” God talk and inapt Creation story-bashing might be uncalled for, below the belt, and blasphemous for the fundamentalists, but it made sense. It did not only hit the nerve of gullible Christians who live and practice their faith but also challenged them into thinking about how deeply rooted their relationship with God is.

It is a wake-up call, too, for all those professing their faith but have little understanding of the Holy Scriptures. I’m sad but happy to learn of survey results that show that 85 percent of Catholics who have not read the Bible have time now to read God’s Words.

But who cares given how contentious God’s word is? Unfortunately, that includes the assuming nominal Catholic President himself as a religious butterfly, preferring to live in hell just to see his people living in paradise. Who knows where this warped tambay version of the salvation history might bring him? This is where his daughter, Davao Mayor Sara Duterte, advised people to “just leave his opinion to himself as he is not a theologian…”

Welcome to the Club, Mr. President. It’s not yet too late to learn and understand the Bible. The late senator Miriam Defensor Santiago studied it for her own good and consumption. Similarly, then Vice President Jejomar Binay has been  enrolled in Holy Scriptures. Look, they were not as noisy as you are. What a ball indeed you have in  between your two legs that you can afford to engage in  trash talk and feed your ego with nonsense while your willing victims — your captive followers — play deaf and blind.

Never mind Inday Sara’s counsel though. Every tambay worth his salt would pass into that stage anyway. There’s just no shortcut unless you enroll  in a seminary. But you should not remain in your tambay interpretation mentality or make a fool of yourself ad finitum.  The Internet is available for the gahi og ulo like you. By all means, you can graduate from being a noisy and lousy  fundamentalist like your best recruit and ally Sen. Manny Pacquiao. Coolness and humility are what count. Countless and updated data are available online to feed that empty brain.

Go ahead, read the entire Old and New Testaments. For sure, you would become crosseyed and suffer indigestion when you start thinking about questions on authorship, history, culture, etc.. Or you might just throw away that book out of the window because of your inability to connect the dots.

For instance, where in the world did Adam and Eve’s son Cain meet his wife after he settled in the land of Nod, East of Eden? But, of course, tambay’s common sense would likely tell him that there were already other human beings living there.

Or what about the faith of Abraham who went to the extent of attempting to sacrifice his son Isaac when there were plenty of sheeps in his pastureland because he was instructed to do so?

Or how true was the story about the Great Flood, Noah, the Ark, and all creatures he saved?

Or how was it possible for Jonah to stay alive for days inside the belly of a Great Fish underwater?

Speaking your mind on the issue brought more unexpected blessings than curses, I guess. The Catholic Church still stands, preaching the same message of salvation started many centuries back. It survived the onslaught of apostasy when kings and rulers reigned supreme until they lost their grip of power.

There was actually no serious issue, save that the President’s usual antics was meant more to cover up the real issue of corruption, extrajudicial killings,  and all that.

This is a certified master magician with many tricks  still up his sleeves. But he should learn from his audience in Iloilo. People are getting pissed off every time he crosses the line.

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