THE weighing scale groans the moment I wake up—Oh, no, here she is again! And, as of yesterday morning, that scale said I lost .2 pound. No, not two pounds. Take note of the decimal point before “2.” It’s a teeny weeny fraction but at least I didn’t gain .2 pound.
I should think twice, thrice—to infinity and beyond!—of calories before ingesting anything. Vacation time can be most challenging for a tourist who would rather try items on the menu than rely on her most reliable protein shake, especially when a weighing scale in a hotel room is the rarest perk unless I missed the memo that it’s available upon request like the blow dryer.
No, that’s not “blow” as in… Okay, let’s call it the hair dryer.
And, no, that’s not the hair that needs a Brazilian wax. That’s hair up above, the one exposed to the general public.
And that’s public—please don’t remove the letter “L.”
Gosh. All these Christmas greens can be disastrous to the green mind.
Christmas began in September. You can smell it in the air—hmmm, ham! You can hear it here, there and everywhere—“Let’s sing Merry Christmas and a happy holiday.” You can see it with your eyes—Christmas trees in every corner of the world, from your living room to the malls.
Today, Dec. 8, is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. That should give you a hint that Christmas is coming soon to a theater near you. The skeptical and cynical will of course have this in mind: Dec. 8, conception; Dec. 25, birth—17 days?
Hey, it’s all about symbols.
I saw the naked image of a saint stored in a convent, and that prompted a reminder to the parish priest to never ever leave these images unclothed.
To the non-believer, a saint is, ho-hum, whatever. But to the believer who waits for that precious rose to appear after praying the novena to Saint Therese of the Child Jesus, prayers granted through a saint’s intercession can strengthen his faith.
Non-believers do celebrate Christmas. How to avoid the Kris Kringle? That’s the question. How to reject Christmas gifts? That’s another question. How to ignore the lechon, ham, Noche Buena, Media Noche, Christmas parties, and Jose Mari Chan singing, “Let’s sing Merry Christmas and a happy holiday”? The non-believer can also smell, hear, and see all these in predominantly Catholic Pinas.
Christmas must be the most joyous occasion especially for me who relies on faith and food. But Christmas now means traffic, traffic, and more traffic, with 50 minutes as the travel time from uptown to downtown Cagayan de Oro last Wednesday afternoon.
While in transit, I watched a video of an episode of “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” where Kate McKinnon of “Saturday Night Live” (SNL) was the guest. That’s the McKinnon whose Hillary Clinton skits reached Emmy-award status, but for this “Tonight” show, it was her Gal Gadot impression that had me laughing like a hyena.
Well, yes, hyenas don’t laugh—those are their sounds of frustration and agitation, like the way we react to traffic: Ha. Ha. Ha.
McKinnon describes Gadot as, “Everything she says is like a prophecy.” And when Gadot was SNL host, McKinnon asked her, “Do you have hobbies, Gal?” And this is where McKinnon begins to imitate the “Wonder Woman” star: “She was like, ‘I love to go to the beach, I love to paddleboard, I love to watch my children run in the sand, I love to go to the Maldives. Do you have a hobby, Kate?’ And I was like, ‘I watch Dateline, Gal.’ Everything she said was magic.”
McKinnon also shares that the SNL cast together with its host for the week always have their traditional Tuesday dinner where “we talk about movies we see or what TV we’ve seen but she (Gadot) just sat down…and she was like, ‘I want everyone to go around the table and say something that you’ve never told anyone.’
“And we were like, ‘Okay, Gal.’ And she was like, ‘No, really, we have to do this.’ And we kind of went around and we kind of did it and it got to Lorne (Michaels, SNL creator and producer) and he looked kind of freaked out the whole time, and it got to him, and he was like, ‘Well, when I was ten, I…’ He told the story! And we left like, transfixed. She changed the game.”
Of course all these had Fallon gushing praise: “The power of Gal Gadot! That’s what she does. She really is Wonder Woman.”
Meanwhile in CDO, the only way I can relate with Wonder Woman is when I wonder. I wonder if the ketogenic diet will work for me. I wonder what my weight will be tomorrow. I wonder which has more calories—a kilo of lechon or a kilo of lechon manok. I wonder.