A more responsible public opinion

Fr. Roy Cimagala .

WE, of course, are all free to express an opinion on any public issue at hand. In fact, this should be encouraged, since this will help in ferreting out what is truly helpful to the general public.

We just have to do it as responsibly as possible, which means that we should study the issue very well first, avoiding off-the-cuff comments that can cause unnecessary distress and acrimony among the people, and express our views as clearly as possible and with charity always.

Let’s always remember that our freedom of speech and expression can never do away with the requirements of charity. Even in the bitterest of our conflicts, we should always be charitable, ready to understand the others, to ask for pardon if we commit some mistake and to forgive when others commit them, etc.

We cannot deny that in matters of opinion we will always have differences and conflicts. We just have to learn how to be civil in arguing our points and in sorting out the differences. We have to learn this art, now so relevant and urgent given the growing complexity of our times.

What we should avoid is to fall into extreme biases and prejudices that would compromise a healthy dialogue. Matters of opinion can lend themselves to different views and positions, all of them valid and legitimate, with their share of strong and weak points.

They should not be argued as if they are dogmas, because even in dogmas, when some people cannot accept them, these people will always be treated with charity. We should avoid absolutizing something that only has a relative value.

No one should claim that he has the last word in any issue or question. In matters of opinion, no one can claim that he has all the good, true and beautiful in his views. One should always be open-minded to the views of the others, no matter how different and conflicting they are to his. There is always some truth to what they say. We can always learn something from them.

And in the discussion, one should avoid trying to simply score points and dominate the exchange of views. Rather, one should be interested in arriving at what is the most advantageous, fair and practical option for everyone. Some kind of consensus has to be achieved.

A great deal of magnanimity and broad-mindedness are required here. We should take the initiative to understand the others with different and even conflicting views, trying to figure out where they are coming from. We have to learn to agree to disagree in an amicable way on certain issues. It pays to have a lot of patience, a sportsman’s attitude, a good sense of humor.

We have to keep a tight and strong grip on our emotions and temper, preferring not to say anything or to delay to say it when our sentiments are approaching boiling and erupting point.

Sad to say, what we are noticing these days in the media is precisely different from how public opinion should be ideally expressed and dealt with. There is so much bias and prejudice, so much bashing and rash judgments, so much absolutizing of things with relative value, so much selfighteous comments. There are times when we get the sensation that we are talking to a wall.

And so we are reaping our just desserts. There’s a lot of acrimony and division. Anger and hatred, resentments and bitternessare rising like anything. And everyone suffers. The common good is hardly addressed. What seem obvious are the moves to bolster one’s power, wealth and fame. Brazen pursuits of self-interest are all over the place.

We can do a lot better than this! We have to start learning the art of public opinion as it should be.

***

The child is father of the man. This is a line from the poem, The Rainbow, by William Wordsworth. (1770-1850) It means that man is the product of his habits and behavior developed in childhood. In other words, how we are as a child largely determines how we will be as a grown-up person. What we are today gives shape to what we will be in the future.

This, to me, is a call for us to really take care of little children, teaching them as early as possible the right things in life. Of course, there will always be differences among the different generations, but there are certain things that, irrespective of the different generations, should remain the same.

These are the essential things in life and refer more to the spiritual and internal things involving faith and beliefs, attitudes, habits, orientations, etc. than to the material and external things in our life.

These essential things can be expressed in different ways.

In fact, each person will have a unique way of living them. But in their spiritual substance, they are the same and universal, applicable to everyone, irrespective of race, religion, culture, etc. We may call these essential things as the content of what we term as natural law.

Some days ago, I happen to visit my five-year-old and three-year-old grandnephews. It was a very happy occasion that comes to me few and far between. The older one was more active, of the choleric type. The younger one was sluggish with a very handsome smile. I called him, Shaolin, because of his chinky eyes. I had a grand time albeit a bit tiring, since there was a lot of movement and action involved.

There was just one thing that bothered me. They had, to my mind, too many toys such that they paid more attention to the toys than to me who, I imagine, they seldom see.

They already had digital gadgets, remote-controlled toys that roll, walk, run and fly. I can see that they were all fascinated by these toys. And I must say that their vocabulary was much richer than what I remember mine was when I was at their age. They were quite articulate already, but quite impatient too. They, for example, wanted their gadgets to get fully charged in five seconds only. The older one was literally counting the seconds.

Thing is when I restrained one of them from doing something for fear that he might break a precious house décor, he threw a terrible tantrum, shrieking aloud and giving me dagger looks. I was taken aback.

I know it’s not good to compare, but I don’t remember behaving like that when I was a child and when what I wanted at the moment was frustrated. What I also remember was that I had very few toys, and I was more attentive to the persons around me than to the toys.

And so I told my sister to please sweet talk these little boys so as to learn to give more attention to the persons with them than to the toys. They have to learn how to control their temper.

I believe that this observation of mine is not an isolated one. I hear the same things from many people who come to me for a chat. Yes, something has to be done. We need to study the matter more closely and come out with strategies to address this issue properly.

We need to help many parents in their task of forming their children at an early stage. If the child is father of the man, we can just imagine the kind of society we will be having in the near future if the children of today fail to learn the basics of filial piety, respect and cordiality, social skills, etc.

This, I think, is a serious matter that should not be taken lightly.

E-mail: roycimagala@gmail.com