‘Another one bites the dust’

By Netnet Camomot

“We are the champions, my friends / And we’ll keep on fighting ‘til the end.”

That could be the theme song of Imelda Marcos’ frenemies as the former first lady and incumbent Ilocos Norte representative faces a 77-year imprisonment for graft after having been found guilty for seven out of the ten cases filed against her. Former President Ferdinand Marcos’ favorite number was seven. Coincidence?

The 89-year-old Imelda will be 166, with or without stem cell therapy, after serving her 77-year sentence. Her team’s official statement did say that her lawyer “intends to file a motion for reconsideration.”

Meanwhile, Queen fans are having a “Bohemian Rhapsody” hangover.

For my “Last Song Syndrome” column last week, I wrote, “In the film, Queen bass guitarist John Deacon (Joseph Mazzello) plays that familiar bassline for ‘Another One Bites the Dust,’ which he composed, but the band doesn’t burst into song. Darn.”

I always insert “spoiler alert” for a movie, for those who have not watched it yet. But, in case you haven’t noticed, that “Another One Bites the Dust” paragraph had none because—spoiler alert!—the band did burst into song while Deacon played its bassline.

We were there on its first day of showing because “I was afraid, I was petrified” it would end up like “First Man” whose run in Cagayan de Oro cinemas didn’t last for a week. Due to low ticket sales? Hmmm. I have no idea.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” has its share of bad reviews, had the audience believed them and decided to avoid it, it could have met the same fate as “First Man.”

A movie’s effect can be so overwhelming, I cried the first time I watched “Bohemian,” and cried again last Saturday night when I watched it again, this time with high school classmates who of course knew Queen’s songs at the height of the band’s popularity way back when. We almost had a spontaneous sing-along inside the cinema.

“We Will Rock You” can be the theme song of any aspiring wannabe who will then find “We are the Champions” as the best way to celebrate success. But the love-struck will forever be inspired with “Love of My Life”:

“Love of my life, you’ve hurt me / You’ve broken my heart, and now you leave me / Love of my life, can’t you see? / Bring it back, bring it back, don’t take it away from me / Because you don’t know what it means to me.”

Sigh.

The movie is kind of, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” To each his own. There’s the audience whose homophobia may focus on Freddie Mercury’s bisexuality. And the audience that appreciate Mercury’s genius and talent, they won’t even flinch while watching his intimate scenes with other men.

Queen is one of the bands that can never be complete anymore, that’s why it’s advisable to buy tickets for your favorite band’s concert wherever that may be, before it’s too late.

A concert in Pinas can still be the cheapest and most practical, though—no need for an international flight and visa.

There are foreigners who do travel to Pinas for their idols’ concerts here once tickets in their countries of origin have been sold out. Much like Miss Earth candidates who also travel to Pinas where the beauty pageant is usually held. This year’s event, however, has been marred by some delegates’ sexual-harassment allegations against a Miss Earth longtime sponsor.

In a Philippine Daily Inquirer piece on Nov. 10—“More Miss Earth bets urged to report sexual harassment” by Armin P. Adina—Miss Canada 2005 Katherine McClure said she “was never personally harassed or otherwise coerced to do anything of a sexual nature in my time” but “most women faced some level of sexual harassment or coercion at some point… relating to sponsors.”

She added, “There was an unwritten rule in pageantry regarding sponsors. They’re the bread and butter and so your job is to keep them happy. Their favorites are boosted in the rankings and if you fall from their grace you plummet. This has never been explicitly said to me… but we all knew that it was expected because it only makes sense, don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

If her words also sound familiar to other beauty pageant contestants, keeping sponsors happy could be the general rule rather than the exception then.

Now that the imeldific Imelda is facing 77 years in prison, is the same possible for those guilty of sexual harassment? Hmmm. Seven months in prison is more probable. Or in a hospital if they can convince the court that the wheelchair and neck brace are not mere props.

But even sans wheelchair and neck brace, a hospital arrest is still possible. Esep-esep!