Barking up the wrong tree

Netnet Camomot .

IT will be Ninoy Aquino’s 36th death anniversary on Aug. 21. Thirty-six years of speculating on who killed him; who the mastermind is—that is, if there’s one; and why his family is seemingly not keen on discovering the facts behind the conspiracy theories that have hounded his assassination.

The Pinoy should behave like an auditor, he should start asking questions: Who killed Ninoy, and why? And the world can only hope that once there’s an answer, the Pinoy can learn from it. Because the Pinoy’s habits are hard to break, habits such as his fondness for band-aid solutions. Dengue cases go up, and he begs for the comeback of the Dengvaxia vaccine. Parents complain about their children allegedly being recruited by leftist groups, and Sen. Bato dela Rosa suggests “intensified police visibility” in school campuses. A woman is raped, and she’s advised to stop having drinking sprees with men, and to avoid wearing sexy clothes. Tsk tsk. Asa na ang hustisya ani?

The ever reliable—hehe—Wikipedia defines “barking up the wrong tree” as “an idiomatic expression in English, which is used to suggest a mistaken emphasis in a specific context. The phrase is an allusion to the mistake made by dogs when they believe they have chased a prey up a tree, but the game may have escaped by leaping from one tree to another. The phrase means to mistake one’s object, or to pursue the wrong course to obtain it. In other words, ‘if you are barking up the wrong tree, it means that you have completely misunderstood something or are totally wrong.’”

Problems will continue to persist because the root of the problem has not been addressed.

And talk of anything that sounds like persist, there’s Public Attorney’s Office Chief Persida Acosta being investigated for some allegedly questionable transactions in her fight against the Dengvaxia vaccine. Should the Pinoy now suspect there’s a conspiracy theory somewhere in there?

The stressed and tired Pinoy resorts to conspiracy theories since he doesn’t have the resources for surveillance, audits, and whatever the government does to discover the truth behind the headlines.

But sometimes that same government can blurt out simple statements that still end up boggling the mind, anyway. Such as President Rody Duterte’s joke on rape: “As long as there are many beautiful women, there will be more rape cases.” Vice President Leni Robredo then reacted with this: “Merong rape kasi merong rapists.” If you voted for her, please ponder on that and see if you can think of a better reaction. Hahay. Ambot sa langaw unsay nahitabo sa uk-ok.

Robredo’s statement did prompt me to ask a friend if Tita Cory also answered queries that way. Say, if someone asked Tita Cory this: How did Ninoy die? Would she have replied with, Na-assassinate si Ninoy kasi may assassin?

Robredo will probably run for president in 2022. If she wins, I gotta feeling the Pinoy will miss Duterte’s spontaneous and extemporaneous speeches.

Utmost care should be required for anything that people tend to say or write, in case a Pinoy is listening to or reading that statement. For example, Tita Cory filed a libel case against then Philippine Star columnist Luis Beltran way back in 1987 after he wrote that she “hid under her bed” during the Aug. 28 coup attempt that same year. Hmmm. Was that a curtailment of press freedom? Esep-esep pud pag may time.

Anyway, did Beltran see her hiding under her bed? That’s the question. Thus, the libel case.

Try to check all the drama, accusations, debates, quarrels, and arguments on Facebook to see what freedom of speech looks like. Plus freedom from grammar and spelling—haha!

The joke on the panda that eats, shoots, and leaves can be so true on social media where posts and comments can be easily misunderstood. That’s why Julia Barretto is alleged to have hired a ghost writer in expressing her side of the story.

The Pinoy, who has been hiding under his bed, is now asking, What story?

And there’s Julia asking, What ghost writer?

Well, it was her aunt, Gretchen Barretto, who accused her of hiring a ghost writer for that kilometric Instagram post which included this:

“Bea, you wanted to keep your hands clean by not mentioning me in your controversial post, but with a click of your finger, in your sly way, you have charged everybody to destroy me FOR YOU.”

And Philippine Star had the perfect title for it: “From ‘ghosting’ to ghost writer: Gretchen Barretto slams Julia Barretto’s statement.”

For that Pinoy who has been hiding under his bed, here’s a ho-hum tidbit for him: Gerald Anderson ghosted Bea Alonzo, and he’s reportedly with Julia now.

And the controversy is so timely since August is Ghost Month in the Chinese calendar. Brrrrr.

By the way, the correct partial definition of a panda is, it eats shoots and leaves. No commas, please. And now you know how difficult it is to be an editor.

Ghost writing is also hard because the piece should sound like the one who will deliver or post it, otherwise, people won’t believe the words the client is trying to enunciate. Kind of that Sprite commercial: “Magpakatotoo ka.” Which could be good advice, too, to the madlang pehpohl who are now confused on who should use what rest room, with Senate President Tito Sotto suggesting what he thinks is a simpler term for the initials LGBTQI: “Why that lengthy letters? Why not just ‘homo sapiens’?”

Vice Ganda has a better solution, which he shared through “It’s Showtime”: “Kung hindi komportable ang isa’t isa, huwag natin ipilit. Bakit hindi niyo na lang kami bigyan ng sariling CR ng LGBT, para lahat may safe place. If men feel that they’re unsafe, if women feel unsafe, and LGBT community feels unsafe, then, create a safe place for everyone. Kaya nanawagan ako sa gobyerno, create a safe place for everyone. Kung hindi kami matatanggap, bigyan niyo kami ng CR. Gusto lang namin umihi at dumumi. ’Yun lang yon.”