Captive audience

Netnet Camomot .

SOME people have deleted or deactivated their social media accounts so they can focus on other hobbies, like sleeping, which, by the way, can improve your health. So, now you have an excuse in case the boss catches you sleeping on the job. But if you’re sleeping for at least eight hours each night, most probably you won’t be sleepy while working.

And sleeping at 9 pm lessens the time the dieter spends checking out the fridge. Lack of sleep can also awaken hunger pangs due to the stress a sleepless night can cause, thus, the need to respect your yawns and sleepy eyes.

Social media, video games, and Netflix, however, may force you to remain awake till dawn, and it’s during these times that the wannabe writer is better off writing rather than wasting time with time-wasters.

That’s the wannabe writer who collects books, stationery, notebooks, paper, scratch paper, used envelopes, pens, and articles that have caught her curiosity. They all spark joy. So, it’s all paper and pens. At the mall, she gravitates towards book stores where she can spend the whole day browsing through books, and window-shopping for paper and pens.

That’s the same wannabe writer who has learned the pros and cons of giving unsolicited advice: Ay, kadyot lang, nganong ga-advise man ko ani niya? Mas bright pa man siya nako!

And July 1 was the perfect day to start all over again for both unsolicited adviser and bright advisee, like as if it was the New Year. That’s a July 1 on a Monday, the first working day of the week and the first day of the second half of the year. Yay!

I’ve been planning to waste less time on Facebook for many months now. Operative word: Planning. June 12 came and I thought, Yay! Independence Day is the most ideal goodbye-FB day! But June 12 came and went, and there I was, still scrolling down my news feed; clicking “like,” “heart,” etc.; commenting on posts; even sharing some of these posts. By June 30, which was a Sunday, I finally said, Okay, enough already. I would check out only my notifications starting July 1. And on July 1, there I was, clicking whatever, commenting on posts, sharing posts, and even posting photos! Ano ba talaga, Kuya?

I have utmost respect for those who have no social media accounts and those who have deleted or deactivated their accounts. They now have time to appreciate reality. What are they missing, anyway? Fake news, bad news, drama, rants, Photoshopped photos. And there’s the Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, and all other Days of a vacation, occasion, reunion, event, whatever. And there you are, the captive audience to all that and more.

Celebrities and politicians are supposed to be the only people who need a captive audience to increase their popularity. If you’re neither a celebrity nor a politician, what’s your excuse then?

Still, thanks to social media, the captive audience now learns something new each day. Like those Ivanka Trump memes that have inserted her in some familiar photos and paintings from The Last Supper to the Loch Ness monster and even landing on the Moon, with the hashtag #UnwantedIvanka.

The memes sprouted after people saw this video of her at the G20 summit in Osaka, Japan, where she’s “talking” with British Prime Minister Theresa May, International Monetary Fund Director Christine Lagarde, France’s President Emmanuel Macron, and Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Two words: Trying hard. Ivanka looked like she was trying too hard to join their conversation, with Lagare’s eyes seemingly saying, What is she doing here?

Ivanka looked like a spoiled daughter whose playground included the G20 summit.

Surely you’ve had your share of awkward moments a la Ivanka, and there’s an unsolicited advice for that: Know your place. In other words, shut up. Have that selfie if the security allows it, and get outta there pronto.

If she’s being groomed to be the family’s next US president, that’s a scenario much familiar to the Pinoy who has become used to political dynasties, he’s now shocked whenever a politician retires without his spouse, children, siblings, and other relatives being pushed as successors.

That’s the same politician who had to focus on his oath-taking, and his community programs and infrastructure projects, while his son was arrested and detained for an alleged involvement in drugs. Which was old news by the time it reached the politician’s hometown. At least, the oath-taking went smoothly while the bad news about his son was brewing in some other city far, far away.

The Cagayanon learned about the father’s oath-taking and, days later, the son’s arrest, through Facebook. So, how to delete and deactivate our FB accounts if that’s now the shortest distance between us and news?