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‘Ding, ang bato!’

Netnet Camomot .

FOR a while there, the breaking news on Liza Soberano quitting Darna took the limelight away from political campaign promises and Jim Paredes’ sex video scandal.

Soberano revealed she couldn’t be Darna anymore due to an injured finger. An ABS-CBN statement said she “suffered a finger bone fracture while doing a fight scene on the set of ‘Bagani’ last year.” The “injury shall hamper her from effectively doing the movie stunts required,” so, the choice was “not to pursue the project.”

Well, the search is on again for the latest Darna. Vilma Santos, Sharon Cuneta, Lorna Tolentino, Angel Locsin, Rio Locsin, Gina Pareno, Regine Velasquez, and Marian Rivera were among the Darnas in the past. Should the next one be a professional athlete to avoid reliance on computer-generated imagery? Hmmm.

Since even athletes have a retirement age, the next Darna should be someone that the youth “can identify with,” according to Rian Gonzales (“#SigawDarna: The Filipino icon as ‘morena,’” Philippine Daily Inquirer, April 6, 2019). And because of this, he said, “there are visible changes in how a franchise develops stories and designs.”

He then noted how “Carljoe Javier and Jemuel Bernaldez’s ‘Rejected Darna Comics Pitch’ sparked interest on social media. Javier and Bernaldez played around with the idea that Darna can simply be an ordinary Filipino, a morena who represents and embodies the modern-day superhero.”

Gonzales described Darna as “someone you encounter on a hot, sunny day in Manila, a friend you can always count on, and a youthful woman who prefers wearing a practical costume to a bikini.”

Operative word: youthful. And what exactly is the maximum age for that? The United Nations says it’s 24. Any woman beyond that age need not apply? Ouch. But still, Gonzales wrote, “I echoed the sentiment that anyone can simply take up the mantle to be Darna.” Yay!

But with President Rody Duterte often inserting p***ng in* in his speeches, a woman’s image may morph from Darna to Narda, er, nada—nil, zilch, zero.

PI is a curse that the madlang pehpohl utter only when they are alone and have accidentally dropped an anvil on their finger. But to enunciate it aloud in public is still not a generally accepted social principle despite its being Duterte’s favorite expression, which prompted Caloocan Bishop Pablo Virgilio David to post a photo of his mother, Bienvenida Siongco David, on Facebook (FB) with the caption, “She is the woman the President of our country called a whore in his speech yesterday. He called me a son of a whore for allegedly attacking him from the Church pulpit—which I have never done (“My mother’s not a whore—David” by Tina G. Santos and Nikka Valenzuela, PDI, April 5, 2019).”

“The pulpit is never for that purpose,” said David as quoted through the same FB post. “Unless, of course, he thinks that calling for an end to violence and extrajudicial killing in my diocese is tantamount to attacking him.”

Well, at least, despite the president’s constant utterance of PI, Pinas still managed to have a 15-month low inflation rate of 3.3 percent last month, which could be a good campaign rallying cry for Duterte’s candidates this year.

If it’s zero percent right before Election Day, the better for Duterte’s team. Positive thinking and all that jazz. But there’s one woman who may not have to worry about inflation rates now that she and her ex-husband, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos, have agreed on what an AFP piece called as “the biggest divorce settlement in history.” As big as $36 billion for MacKenzie Bezos. Wow!

The same AFP piece noted Forbes magazine’s great reveal that Bezos is now “the third wealthiest woman in the world after L’Oreal heiress Francois Bettencourt Meyers and Walmart’s Alice Walton.”

I wonder how $36 billion in cash looks like. Hmmm. But since it’s in Amazon shares—stock certificates galore. Still, she can definitely afford the $900 Golden Giant Burger that Tokyo’a Oak Door resto is serving till June in honor of the coronation of Crown Prince Naruhito on May 1.

An AFP piece described the wagyu beef patty as sandwiched between gold-dusted buns,” and it “measures 25 centimeters in diameter and is topped with foie gras, slices of Japanese beef and freshly shaved black truffles.” Yum! Goodbye, diet. Goodbye, intermittent fasting. Goodbye, fasting for Lent. Wait, is gold a veggie? Hehe.

But why a burger? Should it be sushi instead? Hmmm.

For Darna, though, it’s neither burger nor sushi but “Ding, ang bato!”

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TREND MAKER. Mindanao Gold Star Daily was established in 1989 to set ablaze a new meaning & flame to the local newspaper business. Throughout the years it continued its focus and interest in the rural areas & pioneered the growth of countryside journalism.

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