Early bird

By Netnet Camomot

THE cheapest iPhone 11 is P47,990 and the dearest is P95,990, depending on gigabytes and if it’s a Pro or a Pro Max or not.

The wise Pinoy will, of course, buy an iPhone 11 once there’s an iPhone 20, which is possible a decade later when an iPhone 11 has become as Jurassic as a Nokia 5110.

The latest iPhone may inspire the dieter to stop eating out. The maximum length of time for a postpaid lock-in contract is 24 months. P95,990 divided by 24 is P4,000. Eating at restos, having coffee and sweets in cafes, and bar-hopping can cost more than P4,000 per month. Staying at home where the dieter can cook his own food and sip his 3-in-1 coffee will help him save money for the 256-gigabyte version of the iPhone 11 Pro Max.

Yes, we have become slaves to our phone which has everything—camera, alarm clock, health monitor, calculator, video games, email, social media, encyclopedia, Netflix, YouTube, Spotify, Messenger, Viber, Google Maps, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

I use my phone in writing this column so I can write anywhere, anytime. I write while travelling. I write while waiting for the Filipino time to pass. I write while waiting for a traffic jam to un-jam.

The Cagayan de Oro traffic is not as bad as that of Metro Manila where it took presidential spokesperson Salvador Panelo almost four hours on Friday to travel from home to work. He left Marikina at 5:15 am and arrived at Malacanang at 8:46 am by riding four jeepneys and a motorcycle, his way of meeting the militant groups’ challenge for him to take public transport when he insisted that there’s no transport crisis.

In an interview after his ordeal, er, commute, he reiterated, “Mayroong traffic crisis pero hindi transportation crisis kasi when you say transportation crisis wala ka ng sinasakyan, paralyzed ang buong traffic.”

On Tuesday last week, Panelo said, “You want to arrive early, you leave early.” Much like the obvious solution to weight loss: Don’t eat. Haha.

But how early is early? Does the early bird catch the worm?

A meme posted on Facebook suggested, “This country needs a Department of Common Sense.” I don’t know if that was for Pinas.

But that’s what we need—common sense. If only we can stop complicating our life.

So, don’t buy the P95,990 iPhone 11 if your old iPhone still works. Don’t buy a new pair of sneakers if you can hardly use the six pairs that are gathering dust in the closet. Don’t watch TV and Netflix, and don’t play video games if you have unread books gathering dust in a cabinet. A friend chose the road less traveled by deactivating her Facebook account so she can read books. I wanted to congratulate her as I wondered if I could do the same.

Reading relaxes the bookworm but probably not the non-bookworm who prefers to experience adventures instead of reading about them.

But if the book’s author is Stephen King, please define “relaxes.”

The vendors occupying the sidewalks and streets of the Misamis Oriental capitol compound may also relax for now since Governor Bambi Emano has been silent about his clearing plans for the area. As of Thursday last week, that is. Well, not that silent, though, when he reacted to city hall’s suggestions on how and when to conduct clearing operations.

Here’s my unsolicited comment on this: 2022 na?

In case you’re clueless about 2022, that’s the next election year for which CDO, er, CdeO Mayor Oscar Moreno wants First District Rep. Klarex Uy to be his successor.

The capitol compound’s clearing—or non-clearing—of obstructions seems to have jumpstarted the Election 2022 campaign season. It’s again violet versus whatever color Moreno is wearing now. Yay! Bibo na pud!

I now avoid wearing violet, green, yellow or orange not because these are CDO’s political colors. My valid reason is, I prefer black, navy, white, and gray. For birthdays, I wear red.

Yup, black and navy are not my only colors now. Gisumhan na. Haha. But my favorite colors are not important. What’s important is, what colors CDO’s political candidates will wear in 2022, with the expected hopping from one political team to another.

By 2022, iPhone 11 will be the phone that can’t do everything anymore. And we will be three years older and hopefully wiser, the kind of wisdom that can help us elect politicians who truly want to serve the madlang pehpohl.