Gift of self

Mozart Pastrano

SOMEBODY didn’t like my Christmas gift.

It was supposed to be a gift of self. Something not bought from some store. Something self-made. Something from my own blood, sweat, and tears. I gave a poem I wrote.

Of course, I was at fault. Why did I foolishly think that the indomitable verities of our common humanity are shared – and cherished – by all? In a multicultural context, one cannot expect a concurrence of values, moral compass, and even plain good manners.

And so in this time of climate change and apocalyptic dread, where the harshest cut of all may be our endangered humanity, I offer this gift of self to the reading public.

Ayaw sagutin ni W. ang kanyang celfone

(Siempre pa, para kay W.)

Nais kong manahan sa iyong katahimikan.

Magbaon, halimbawa, ng unan at kumot at gigiling-giling sa sarap ng lahat mong isip at ibig. Sisigaw, sasayaw–labi, kamay, baywang, dila. Lulusubin ang bawat sulok ng mapagkubli na katahimikan. Bibigyan ito ng hugis, anyo, kulay, bigat, lasa, bango–kabuuan at kakulangan. Katiyakan: pagpisa ng patak ng pawis sa pisngi mo.

Pagpipistahan ko ang alat at alaala na magbibigay-buhay sa iyo ngayon, dito, habang ikaw ay wala, pipi at bingi sa tawag ng minsanang pagkakataon.

1. ignores a call on his mobile phone

(Of course, for W.)

I yearn to dwell in your silence. I will bring pillows and a blanket and savor all your delicious thoughts and turns. They are sleepless–my lips, fingers, hips, tongue, journeying on the vague geography of this silence. I will strive to discover its shape and color and weight and taste and smell.

What it is, what it is not. This much I can map out: the way sweat skims your skin.

Oh, to feast on this elemental salt and sea of remembrance is to conjure your presence here, now, while you are lost, deaf and dumb to this plaintive call of emergency.

Wala gitubag ni W. ang iyang celfone

(Siempre naman, para kang W.)

Papuy-a ko sa imong kahilom.

Magbalon ba kaha og unlan ug habol ug magligid-ligid sa kalami sa tanan nimong hunahuna ug hunghung. Mosayaw, mosiyagit—ngabil, kamot, hawak, dila.

Sulungon ang kasuok-suokan sa limbongán nga kahilom. Hikap-hikapon kini ug tilawan, simhoton, kusi-on, pikpikan. Gakson ko ang katibuk-an ug kakulangon. Ang kasigurohan: ang pagdakin-as sa singot sa imong aping.

Maghinakog ako sa pagdumdum sa parat aron makaúban ka sa maka-usa pa, karon, diri, bisan wala ka, amang ug bungol sa tawag niining lumalabay nga takna.

E-mail: mozpas@yahoo.com