Make it simple

Netnet Camomot

BUYING a new laptop like the way you buy a top–off the rack–is not advisable. But I had no choice on Thursday afternoon. If others would spend at least two weeks to choose the best computer they could afford, there I was, calling up our suki technician to ask what brand and model he could recommend.

I Googled it, saw five stars for one of its reviews, called up the technician to tell him OK go ahead make my day, went to the computer store with the old laptop so he could transfer the files, took one look at the new one, issued a check, and–voila!–new laptop.

I didn’t have two weeks to choose. I didn’t even have two hours. It must have taken two minutes from asking for the technician’s recommendation up to calling him up to say yes I’m buying it.

Thursday evening was for dinner with high school classmates, so, it was only on Friday morning that I started working with the new laptop.

The low-tech who couldn’t even distinguish software from hardware now had to learn how to use this new, hmmm, hardware?

First obstacle: how to copy-paste photos from Pictures to Word. Somehow, photos of one recent cherished memory played as a slideshow, making me nostalgic for what could have been. I needed that memory like I needed a whatever in the head. O my gas. Had to press Esc to escape from there but the low-tech in me kept on pressing keys that made that slideshow go on and on! Torture!

About 30 minutes later, I was clicking on these icons in the upper portion of the monitor, and that’s how I found Microsoft Office. Finally, something I’m familiar with. I could now continue working on a report.

That’s the report that made a two-week search for a new laptop as impossible as that cherished memory to happen again. The Jurassic laptop conked out on Thursday afternoon and even the technician had given up on repairing it only a few days after last Monday when he was able to miraculously revive the motherboard. The motherboard whose replacement would cost the same as a new laptop.

I called up a friend to help me choose a laptop but you know how it is in the world of business, no matter what that business is, everyone always seems to be busy–they remember you only when they need to meet their sales quota or increase their sales. That’s the hi-tech friend who, days earlier, said he would text to me specs of a good laptop but never did. So, I called up the technician.

I gotta feeling I’ll be doing the same thing in buying a car: call up the mechanic, Google his suggestion and–voila!–new car. Same for the house: call up the engineer, two minutes later, voila, new house. Yup, make it simple.

If I could plan a party in 3, 2, 1, I could now build a 100-storey skyscraper in two minutes. Yup, make it happen.

But there are things you have to stop from happening. Instead of two cinemas, you go for one cinema. Instead of one more movie, you go for no movie. It took a meeting on Wednesday night to make me realize there are things that are not worth it at all.

Life can be a series of before and after. There’s the weight loss program that allows you to have before-and-after photos. The dates that have their own before-and-after, like before and after you have lost respect for someone. Before and after you have stopped believing. Before and after the 17th.

At first, your instinct is to ignore idiosyncrasies and rise above commenting on those idiosyncrasies. But if they continue to go on and on like the Energizer Bunny, you should stop, look, listen, and choose your next move. In other words, better stay home and read a book.

While in the midst of it all, you can already start mapping out your next move, decide on where you’re going after that. You should not allow people to continue treating you that way. Walang forever sa disrespect and disloyalty.

Now that you can distinguish the real from the fake, it’s time to choose who of the two you want to be with. Your blood will now curl for the fake, you want to spit on their faces, pluck their eyes out of their sockets, scrape the hair off their scalps, insert a tiny needle on each pore of their skin.

A friend has uttered the most appropriate word for all these: Bulls@#t!

There’s this speech that’s now brewing in your brain. You go to the podium, stand there while clad in your most formal attire, and say, F@#k you.

Yup. Make it simple.

There are many kinds of laughter. There’s the joyous laughter, the happy laughter, and the nervous laughter. You don’t want that last one–it’s the kind that booms in the midst of a tense situation, with the hope it would ease the tension. But it never does. Instead, it worsens the situation: Why are you laughing? Because you’re afraid of where this is going? I could make this worse if that’s what you want.

Or they could be laughing at you. Well, at least you made them laugh. Bwahahaha! Everybody happy?

Meanwhile, I’m learning to use the new laptop by arguing with it each time I click on something that I’m not supposed to click. And, hey, we have a theme song: “Getting to know you/Getting to know all about you/Getting to like you/Getting to hope you like me.” Relationship status: It’s complicated.