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Netnet Camomot .

SHARING life’s not-so-subtle secrets is not exactly my cup of tea. Nor is it my mug of hot choco, glass of juice, can of soda. I’m not a guru, so, what do I know, huh?

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But one reaches a certain age when he has seen enough and hopefully has learned from them. Well, at least, I know the difference between “your” and “you’re,” “there” and “their,” “it’s” and “its,” which may not matter to the Pinoy who prefers Cebuano and Tagalog in articulating his thoughts. But to the Bisdak who also thinks in English, English grammar does matter.

Facebook posts in the English language may or may not follow grammar rules and the reader who’s now mentally correcting them charges the grammatical errors to the slow internet connection in Pinas which challenges any attempt at posting with an endless loop of loading and buffering. Who has the time to think of grammar while looking for a faster connection?

So, the reader forgives and forgets posts peppered with grammatical errors the same way he ignores fake news.

And what fake news have you been trying to fathom lately? Was it about you? If your, er, you’re city mayor, there’s that absolute possibility you have to deal with fake news daily. Fake news that features you. It could be from the Cagayanon who ended up disappointed instead of appointed by you. Or the politician who had your support until you discovered he’s also with all the other political parties in Cagayan de Oro, including your so-called rivals, but this glitch in your political relationship seems to be over now that you’re friendly with each other again.

Loyalty is never the best policy in politics as politicians and political wannabes hop from one party to another. And that’s not the party where they can eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow is another day to eat, drink and be merry.

There’s that other party, the political one, that sets the tone for a politician’s likes and dislikes. The most coveted for now is Davao Mayor Sara Duterte-Carpio’s Hugpong ng Pagbabago especially after this news that she was instrumental in boosting the morphing of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo from former President to House Speaker. That’s the proof Carpio can be her father’s successor and Duterte fans are, of course, ecstatic over that discovery. But for sure even they are not so keen on watching Mocha Uson’s version of Federalism 101 which has shocked former Senate President Koko Pimentel and inspired him to say, “Di ko lubos akalain na bababuyin pala nila ang kawsa ng Pederalismo. Ilayo na si Mocha sa Pederalismo. Mag-aral muna siya ng mabuti. Mag-leave muna siya.”

Uson has had her own metamorphosis, too, from her Youtube video of Condom 101 to assistant secretary of the Presidential Communications Operations Office. Yes, it’s a kilometric title. Whew.

There’s this other kilometric length a green mind may think of when it comes to condoms, but let’s not go there.

Uson’s Federalism video, which she posted last week, had blogger Drew Olivar dancing to and singing, “I-pepe, i-pepe, i-dede, i-dede, i-pepe-pepe-pepederalismo!” That and the other parts of the video were what Pimentel reacted to.

Social media don’t have rules unless Mark Zuckerberg is facing another round of US Senate hearings which will then prompt Facebook to have another round of spring cleaning.

So, Uson is not used to rules controlling her posts. If she can have a Condom 101 Youtube video, anything is possible for her, thus, the “i-pepe, i-dede.”

Olivar, of course, responded to the criticism through a video he posted on Facebook where he said, “Bakit, anong masama doon? Kayo nagbibigay na parang p*kp*k daw tas dede. Kayo ang makukuwan mga pag-iisip. Andudumi ng mga pag-iisip ninyo.”

If there’s a video that Uson should create, though, how about the perils of washing and reusing condoms? Apparently, this is happening in the US. Yikes! FYI: Condoms are not cloth diapers that can be washed and reused. Recycling definitely helps save the environment, but there’s a limit to what people can reuse.

Or how about the secrets behind morphing from blogger to assistant secretary? That’s one video many other bloggers will be interested in.

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