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By Renato Tibon

“People who die by suicide don’t want to end their lives, they want to end their pain.” (HealthyPlace.com)

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I USED to shrink back from any discussion appertaining to suicide. I guess, the social stigma attached to killing one’s self turned me off like most people who prefer to ignore or sweep the problem under the rug. It’s only recognized for what it is when it happened or the victim is too close to home.

When I was younger I avoided visiting any wake of neighbors who I thought ended their lives in an ignominious and reproachful manner. Their ghosts were thought to haunt the surrounding areas they used to inhabit. They aren’t even accorded last rites or masses and were consigned to separate burial grounds in public cemeteries. They were simply outcasts in supposedly Christian graveyards. I have no idea if it’s still practiced today.

That was my mindset until it happened to a close relative who, at least to us, despite having not shown any sign of depression, not in our benign arguments, not even during a heightened state of intoxication, inexplicably chose a self-destructive path. Providentially, the local Church and community were more tolerant and accorded a decent Christian burial. I can empathize with how the family felt but it took a deeper spiritual awakening before I understood the act, before I fully accepted the whys and wherefores of self-murder, more than just a mental illness as it is a concealed disorder exacerbated by parental, kin and peer neglect.

Did I have suicidal thoughts? I don’t have data about the baby-boomers I belong to but I can safely say, like perhaps the peers of my generation when we were young, it never crossed my mind even as I received the worst beating as a loafer and juvenile black sheep. As I grew older, however, having more responsibilities, obligations to meet and experiencing failures, anxieties and depression set in and in moments of despair, I admit the idea did present as an unappealing alternative. Thankfully, by God’s grace, my family raised me fearful of eternal damnation that my religion taught me, more fearful of hell than the gravity of the problems I faced. I can’t speak of today’s contemporaries who are exposed to myriad external influences that hasten mental stress. Results of studies showed that 90 percent of suicide victims were suffering from mental illness caused by depression or psychiatric disorder.

People who experience a stressful life may feel intense sadness or loss, anxiety, anger, or hopelessness and entertain the subconscious whisper that they may be better off dead.

Cagayan de Oro made headlines for successive suicide cases from January to September 2019 with 24 cases within the city alone, which accordingly is around 3.6 suicides per 100,000 population higher than the national average of 3.2 for a similar number of people. Of the recent victims, fatal suicides are prevalent among single males while there were more unsuccessful attempts among female counterparts. There were different methods used such as slashing their wrists, hanging their necks with ropes, shoelaces, bag strings, cable ties, and even dog chains while some resorted to leaping from high rise buildings or ingesting poison or toxic liquids. The reasons were varied like failing in studies, embezzling money or jealousy or being dumped out of a relationship. Only recently, a jilted lesbian was reported to commit her 4th unsuccessful suicide attempt, having been thwarted trying to jump from a bridge while onlookers who were probably amused by the drama rather than being upset by the disturbing situation, congregated futilely on the sidelines.

Yet we are not as concerned with the anatomy of the suicide as a means of “ending it all” as we are with the prevention and treatment of the causes that lead to it. Suicidal tendencies are the offshoots of mental illness or disorder that leads to depression and anxieties that in turn give rise to the former. It’s why the proposed Mental Health Ordinance of Cagayan de Oro City recently submitted by Councilor Jocelyn “Bebot” B. Rodriguez in the 19th City Council, is a very laudable and propitious project that needs the support of the City residents to push their elected Councilors to hasten its passage. The measure aims, among other objectives, to promote a shift from a hospital-based system to a strengthened community-based mental health delivery system, to prevent, treat and control mental illness as well as its rehabilitation, to create a Cagayan de Oro Mental Health Board to formulate and review policies to effectively deliver the necessary services and most importantly to construct and operate a Cagayan Mental Health Center, a facility owned and managed by the City Government manned by “adequate number of mental health professionals and support staff to include ample space for privacy and appropriate diagnostic and therapeutic apparatus, regular and comprehensive treatment and medication.”

For now, we can only hope that the suicide attempts cease and that the causes that lead to its prevalence be addressed by authorities.

And so with faith, we pray with the Church: “Lord, protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ”.

My advance greetings for the merriest of Christmas and peaceful new year.

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