‘The Barker’

Netnet Camomot

“THE BARKER” is now showing in cinemas along with “Thor: Ragnarok,” “The Foreigner,” and “Bad Genius.” But it was “Barker” that piqued our interest when we were deciding on what movie to watch last Wednesday night.

If this movie were shown before “Kita Kita,” it would not have raised any kind of curiosity. Its star, Empoy Marquez, has morphed into the epitome of “The New Pogi” as Yes! Magazine calls him in its October 2017 issue.

Empoy is not Ian Veneracion who was the crush ng bayan while “A Love to Last” was still showing.

And good thing he’s not Cogie Domingo who was caught in a drug bust early Friday morning.

In other words, Empoy has his charms, mainly his self-deprecating sense of humor that could make any woman assure him he’s enough as he is. No need for him to wear the most expensive belt in the world—Republica Fashion’s Gucci 30 Carat Diamond at $249,000. The most expensive wristwatch—Greubel Forsey Invention Piece 2 Quadruple Tourbillon at $750,000. Drive around in the most expensive car—Koenigsegg CCXR Trevita at $4.8 million.

Be warned, though, that when it comes to top-ten lists, it depends on who’s listing. There’s this Chopard 201 Carat Watch at $25 million that’s laden with 874 colorful diamonds including a 15.37-karat heartshaped pink one, but I think it’s for women and gay men.

This other movie, “What Women Want,” was released in 2000. It was shooting a scene inside a resto in the US when we happened to pass by. Couldn’t miss it—the resto had blacked-out windows probably to simulate nighttime, and Mel Gibson, its lead actor, was sitting on the stairs leading to the resto for his cigarette break.

I asked a bit player about the movie’s title, he replied that it’s “What Women Want,” and I said, What kind of a title is that?

Anyway, I don’t know if the movie did have the right answer to what women want.

What does a woman want? Someone who truly loves her. Someone who makes her laugh. Someone who knows his grammar and apostrophes—an apostrophe and an s will always prompt an editor’s curiosity to wait for what’s next. Such as 80’s. 80’s what? Even if it’s referring to one’s age, it should be written as 80s. If it’s about the decade, it’s ‘80s.

Other usual mistakes are there and their; who and whom; its and it’s. But I guess some people were absent when that was taught in English 101.

In a meeting on Wednesday night, I was sharing unsolicited advice on when to use “in” or “on” for dates. If the day is included, that’s “on.” On Oct. 30. On the 30th of October. If only the month and/or year, it’s “in.” In October. In 2017. In October 2017.

A friend then asked if Yoyoy Villame used the right preposition for the first line of “Magellan,” otherwise, the late singer and comedian would have to rise from the dead to edit his lyrics. Of course, I Googled. Yes, Villame had it right—it’s “On March 16, 15 hundred 21.”

Memorizing Muslim prayers, not correct grammar, was the key to surviving as a hostage in the Marawi siege. Outside of the siege, correct grammar has never been recognized as the key to one’s success. Try asking an editor what his secret is. Most probably he will say, Patience and megadoses of Dolfenal.

Presidents of countries and top honchos of Fortune 500 companies have ghostwriters for their speeches—who cares about in, on, at, by, for, of, with, from, to? Probably only Lynne Truss, the author of “Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.”

No, it’s not pang-tuition. It’s punctuation.

Truss said she brought around a black marker pen and correction fluid to edit apostrophes on road signs. Imagine her combing through your Facebook posts and photo captions.

Her book is based on this joke about a panda who enters a resto, eats a sandwich, shoots the waiter, and leaves. The resto’s manager asks him, Why? The panda replies, “I’m a panda! Look it up!” and throws a dictionary at him. The manager then reads its definition of a panda: “A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats, shoots, and leaves.”

Yes, it should be, “Eats shoots and leaves.” Without commas.

Editing is like playing Candy Crush Soda Saga, Homescapes, and Gardenscapes. Once you see your phone, you’re now thinking of matching the home screen app icons.

The edited pieces in Yes! Magazine are interesting if you wanna learn about, hmmm, Empoy’s story. But with blogs, vlogs, and Facebook posts, editing is not appreciated anymore—most people either don’t care or don’t know. That’s why fake news becomes viral.

Trolls on both sides of the equator have made social media as a breeding ground for divisiveness, and extremists have learned this is the fastest way to spread their propaganda. The troll is now the 21st century’s barker.