The burger battle

Netnet Camomot

JOLLIBEE has Aga Muhlach, Charlene Gonzales and their twin children.

McDonald’s has Gabby Concepcion and Sharon Cuneta—perfect for Valentine’s Day.

So, whose ad do you prefer?

Ate Shawie’s “Unexpectedly Yours” made me an instant Sharonian, thus, I’ll now be hooked on McDo’s McChicken sandwich forever and ever. Kung sa Bisaya pa, Nakakita ug rason. Nakakita ug rason nga magkaona. But with Ate Shawie’s weight loss as inspiration, how to eat pa more?

Her bonggang bongga comeback as a megastar began with “Unexpectedly” where Robin Padilla was her co-star. Any woman above 40 could relate with the story’s focus on senior-moment woes, and I, desperate for some affirmation that I wasn’t alone with these woes, became her fan.

Fan was another focus of that film—Ate Shawie’s menopausal character constantly needed cool air, and there was her assistant always ready with an electric fan or any fan aimed at her. I always bring a hand fan and a hanky with me, so, yes, relate na relate. I kept laughing while watching those too familiar fan scenes.

Age and white roots make us realize we’re not getting any younger but Ate Shawie gives us hope despite the aches and pains we feel the moment we wake up—the recovering knee, the joints, the…where was I going gani? Oh, to the bathroom.

We even forget where we left the remote control. With no TV set in this room, why am I even looking for that remote? If Diana Ross were to sing to our face—“Do you know where you’re going to?”—our answer would be, I knew I was going somewhere, if only I can remember where that is.

And there’s the millennial wondering, Diana who?

We also wonder. No, we don’t have to ask, Diana who? The senior moment definitely knows who she is.

We wonder about other things—will William Martinez and Maricel Soriano also revive their love team, are we wasting precious hours with Homescapes and Gardenscapes, do Facebook throwback photos evoke more good than bad memories. That last one can test our healing process—if the bad photos don’t affect us at all, that only means moving forward has its perks.

“Home is where the heart is,” as the saying goes. With that as the gauge, where exactly is your home if you’ve moved not only forward but also from one place to the next. In the McDo ad, Gabby and Ate Shawie indeed looked like they have finally found their home, and that’s in each other’s eyes. They’re good actors, they can play that game. They may not be ordinary mortals like us, but they, too, are aware that their story as a couple can possibly continue only in a McDo ad.

We, ordinary mortals, are much aware of reality, and that reality is rarely about our love life once we reach a certain age. We’ve outgrown starry starry nights and now have to ask an ex if that huge moon we saw at the beach once upon a time was a super blue blood moon. He couldn’t even remember that moment. And how could he? The last super blue blood moon before Jan. 31, 2018 was 150 years ago, in 1866!

We’re neither Cinderella nor Snow White. Especially after watching Snow White’s Xated cartoon version in the early ‘80s, the more I’ve been convinced that fairy tales don’t come true, with emphasis on “come.”

Yes, there’s an Xated “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”—imagine what Sneezy and Happy can do in there.

Facebook does make us believe that fairy tales are possible. People tend to post the best version of themselves, with that perfect selfie requiring a wide search for the most beautiful angle with the most fabulous background.

And then, there’s that FB friend who posts at least five photos of the same pose. Here’s unsolicited advice: choose the photo you like and post that one. All you need is one photo that says it all, unless you have other poses for that particular occasion, and the people in those photos are now asking if you’ve tagged them.

I recently “liked” Ate Shawie’s FB page. Yes, I’m her certified fan now. She had some controversial social media posts in the past, so, I checked out her page to see what she has been posting lately, only to realize that, well, she’s also an ordinary mortal. With a much bigger condo unit that has a lovely evening view of Rockwell, Edsa, and Paseo de Roxas. Okay. Not that ordinary.

She celebrated her birthday last month in what looked like a resto function room, which some people can afford, too. But her husband Senator Kiko Pangilinan was with her, and Zsa Zsa Padilla and her boyfriend Conrad Onglao were seated right across them—yup, not that ordinary.

It was Ate Shawie who introduced her close friend Zsa Zsa and architect Conrad to each other. If that has also happened to you, with a friend serving as your cupid, then, you can relate na relate.

Showbiz celebrities also face challenges daily, most particularly on how they can maintain their successful careers. With Gabby and Ate Shawie now pressured to finally star in a movie together, with much thanks to the rave reviews for their McDo ad, success for their love team’s comeback is as sure na as that super blue blood moon coming back again on Jan. 31, 2037.