The fun run to city hall

Netnet Camomot

THESE politicians who will be running in the elections next year should try joining a fun run first so they can let their hair down, sweat their stress out of their pores, and, well, have fun before the main event in May 2016.

With the three colors joining that event in the Cagayan de Oro mayoral race next year, expect an exodus of fans from yellow to orange, violet to orange, even green to orange. Oops! Should it be yellow to orange, then orange to violet, violet to yellow? That will be the most confusing electoral campaign ever: Di ba violet man ka? Answer: Says who? Yellow na ko no!

Unless it’s the same candidate hopping from one color to another: Di ba yellow man ka? Answer: I used to be yellow until I was convinced by orange to join his color, but then the violet mayor was confined at the ICU so I went violet for a while until his weak health also weakened his color, and that’s when I realized yellow is still the brightest color with PNoy at the helm, and that made me decide to return to yellow again.

“Kung saan ka masaya te suportahan ta ka,” as that old PLDT TV commercial goes, but not when  it’s your PLDT line needing support, to which the phone and Internet company may say, Kung di ka masaya te di ta ka suportahan. Hmmm, same meaning, eh?

There are many ways to win the elections, with all of them going around the beg-steal-or-borrow route. Beg for money, steal that money, or borrow the money, with the political candidates begging from a government agency head to please start stealing already so that they won’t have to borrow that much moolah anymore from the suking tindahan.

For the begging part, these political rivals would sometimes go as a group to the agency head since the more, the merrier. Kind of “it is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark.”

I had to ask a hospital insider about updates on violet but the reply was it’s not for the insider to divulge. And that’s from someone who’s very much inside, as in really inside, the most inside of all insides. So, who’s the source of the local dailies’ banner news then if the best inside ever won’t even divulge the truth behind the headlines?

Now, why is it important for Cagayanons to know the truth? Because violet is running for mayor in 2016. A little birdie did tell me that he looked sick the last time they met. Thus, upon learning about the news on his ICU confinement, my first thought was he’s not simply looking sick, he’s seriously ill.

A fun run requires good health from its participants. You cannot go from sedentary to a 21K without training for weeks. An electoral campaign even requires more than the usual–you have to learn to be creative when asked about your health condition so that the ICU becomes a sanctuary for a spiritual retreat. Na-ICU man daw siya. Reply: Nagelax lang man to sa ICU, para dili ma-disturb.

Well, to each his own. So what if his type of R&R is to be with seriously ill patients, to help him realize that he should now accomplish his bucket list before he, uh, kicks the bucket.

And that bucket list includes running for the 21K to city hall so his loyal fans can install his favorite curtains again. Sometimes it’s good to give chance to others, to ensure continuity of the political party through the younger generation. That’s the purpose of “go forth and multiply,” to remind the young once that his legacy does not end when he’s gained dual citizenship–Pinoy and 60–because the younger ones who have learned from him will be ready to continue what he has started.

Provided of course that what they have learned from him are the best values and principles in this corner of the world. If it’s the exact opposite… Hmmm, scary.

But we usually look at the bright side, that the younger ones have learned only the best from the best. That’s what you call the benefit of the doubt. If you doubt the benefit, then it must be doubted. Hehe.

In case you haven’t noticed it yet, Christmas songs are now the background Muzak in restos, stores and malls. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow–to dream that impossiboooool…dream in Pinas. But snow could mean the cccccold. The cold shoulders, the cold stare of the other side of the political party. Party against party. Minions against minions. Happy days are here again?