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Through a cynic’s eyes

Nora Soriño .

ILIGAN City– “That was quite a piece you got there about the Seige of Vienna in 1683.” My friend Von said to me as we were discussing some things before a meeting began in which the  two of us were attendees and we were early birds.

“Yeah?” I said, somewhat glad that he had read it. He was talking about that piece which included 9/11 in terrorism history.

“But I don’t buy it.”

“Why is that?” Although Von is cynical about things even in recorded history, still I was surprised by the comment. “One of the tents used by Mustapha is even displayed at a museum in Krakow today, it is said.”

Mustapha, to note, per terrorism history was said to be the general who set out to conquer Hungary, Slovakia and the south of Poland. From there, he would proceed to conquer the rest of the world for his God.

Immediately, I regretted my statement, afraid that he would ask me about the place, which I really didn’t know. But he didn’t. Instead, he said, “I can name at least five that have similar agenda. That is to conquer the world for their own selfish ends! At least, on the part of Isis they consider it as their obligation so that they will be rewarded in the afterlife.”

I couldn’t say anything to that and Von continued: “America, for instance. Uncle Sam who considers himself as the policeman of the world. And you know what, but I guess you’ve heard this already… that George W. Bush was behind that 9/11 tragedy in 2001.”

“Laughable,” I said with a grave face.

“See or read about that movie, ‘Fahrenheit 9/11.’ His face was grave too but did not go explain it further which to me meant that the Isis are not terrorists… Bush is. Or the Americans. And they are out to conquer the world. For themselves.” According to one Michael Moore, Bush is a close friend of Osama Bin Laden. And the American owes the latter much money for the family’s business ventures. Failed business ventures. And when that 9/11 happened in 2001, Bush did not even express surprise when told about it. He was said to be inside a room at the White House along with some kids.

Without waiting for me to  say anything to that, Von continued: “Another is China. Well you can see for yourself what China is doing now. So that people have this to say or joke about it, ‘all things are made by God but everything else is made by China!’”

“Not funny,” I said still with a grave face. “China is just being made as a culprit by a press that is biased for the West.”

He did not dispute me. Instead, he proceeded. “Another one are the drug dealers especially in a country like Columbia. Have you heard of Pablo Escobar? That big-time bloke in the drug business who, at one time, wanted to be President of that country? He won as a member of the House. But was exposed early on. Thus, saying goodbye to his presidential ambition. But think of it. How many have been elected to government positions because of their business in drugs, or in spite of their drug business? Escobar’s business reached as far as America and elsewhere in the world from there. Thus he and people like him had the world by the palm of his hand.”

Von stopped for two seconds to catch some breath and then continued: “That’s No. 3. And No. 4 is– the aliens.”

“The foreigners?” He cut me. “No, from a galaxy…”

“From a galaxy far, far away,” I finished it for him and  I couldn’t help laughing this time.

“You’ve seen far too many movies,” Von said. “But yes. I mean they’re not from this planet earth, if the researchers of Unidentified Flying Objects are to be believed. And they’re complete with documents. Out to dislodge us problematic mortals here. As they are also problematic there from where they’d come from. So, they have this earth of ours as alternative.

“A foolish theory,” I said but without conviction as I remembered one movie in which the aliens who were out to wrest this earth from us, for themselves were not driven and held on even if  the humans, who fought it out to drive them away and  even  used  nuclear bombs. (Shades of Heroshima and Nagasaki during World War II). In that movie though, they were felled one by one by the high pitch of a song, “You belong to me” as their ears could not stand them, ha ha ha. The humans discovered such singing weapon by accident.

“And there’s the disasters,” Von said. “Man-made disasters, because of man’s recklessness as he goes about living in this imperfect world of ours.

“And then there are the ‘Women.’ Like you.” He was smiling now. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or seriously joking or really dead serious about it. “First they resented it. Because they said they were not treated like humans, but just mere objects, having no brains. They were then not allowed to vote or participate in any kind of governance. And now, they have the men by the palm of their hands.

“They might not have deadly weapons with them but with their guile, who needs deadly weapons to fight the men?”

I thought the discussion was getting out of hand, and getting crazier and crazier  with each passing minute then. Mercifully, the others who were also attending such meeting, arrived. So, it somehow ended such strange conversation.

But not without one last “hirit” from him. “You know that Abu Sayyaf? That, too is an American creation gone wrong!”

I didn’t know what to make of that. Really.


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