True religion

Netnet Camomot .

YOU know you’re old when you know the title of this song: “Come Saturday morning/I’m goin’ away with my friend/We’ll Saturday-spend till the end of the day/Just I and my friend.”

There was a time when answering a crossword puzzle meant an encyclopedia search—go to the library, look for the appropriate volume, and voila! But today, all you need is Google. That is, for shortcuts. Meaning, the minute brain doesn’t have enough space for such minute details. But an honest-to-goodness crossword fan relies solely on data his brain has stored so far and will rack that brain until it reveals the correct answer.

For insomniacs who need a sleep inducer, there’s The New York Times’ (NYT) crossword puzzle which it solves live via Facebook at, say, 1:45 am Philippine time. And NYT can cheer you on in case you’re feeling interactive enough: “Thanks for joining. Leave your guesses in the comments.”

Puzzles supposedly force the senior-moment brain to work or else. They keep that brain from turning more senior than it already is.

Trying to recall an answer can be frustrating: Come Saturday morning, hmmm, mao ning gikanta ni Liza Minnelli. And once you do remember that song’s title, it’s like the fiesta in May: “Celebrate good times, come on!”

And then, there’s the next crossword clue and you have to rack your brain again.

Crossword puzzles have a hierarchy of difficulty—from easy to expert. Of course, start with the easy ones until you graduate to expert which will look so empty as it waits for your brain to reboot.

Me? I take one look at the expert kind and answer only the few familiar ones. The rest I’d leave blank, bahala na si Batman to Google. Answering a crossword puzzle should not remind you of the board exams.

And then, there’s the completely blank crossword puzzle that requires wild guesses on where the black squares should be. It’s a lot of work that wastes a lot of your precious time. Must have been the perfect companion in the Jurassic age when Wifi and cable TV didn’t exist and you’ve read all the writings on cave walls that the universe could offer at that time.

Sudoku puzzles are also interesting timewasters that require pencils to ensure only the most definite digit for a certain square is written in ink.

The most interesting puzzle, though, is this: Will John Lloyd Cruz ever return to “Home Sweetie Home”? Will he and Bea Alonzo revive Popoy and Basha? Since Alonzo has said goodbye again to Gerald Anderson, which could be a promo strategy for her movie, “Kasal,” you know, to pique the potential audience’s interest.

But it’s Kris Aquino who can gain media mileage if she reacts to Korina Sanchez’s willingness to be ninang to the second baby of James Yap and Michela Cazzola. This latest update in the Kris-Korina arena could be a clue on the yellow party’s latest status. If former President Noynoy Aquino and former presidentiable/Senator Mar Roxas will join the Kris-Korina feud, yay, more clues.

Feuds are boring. Same issues revived again and again. Ho-hum. Wala na bang ibang putahe diyan? It’s like having T-bone steak daily for dinner. Eventually, it will start to morph into beef steak.

So, instead of Kris and Korina, let’s switch to Bureau of Corrections’ chief Bato dela Rosa and his True Religion jeans. Whoa. Does he have a stylist now?

A pair of True Religion jeans can cost as much as P25,000. But Sir Bato said it’s a gift from his US-based bro who bought it at an outlet store for $100. To get his message across in an interview with ANC, he converted that to pesos: “Less than $100 lang ‘yun o $100 so more or less P5,000 lang ‘yun.”

Lang? For a P5,000 pair of jeans? Asa na ang hustisya ani? Well, Chief Justice Maria Lourdes Sereno reported for work last Wednesday, with Anacleto Lacanilao III, one of her spokespersons, saying, “The only thing she wants to say is that she’s back. She’s ready to resume her job and she just wants to be faithful to her legal duties as Chief Justice.”

But each time I hear the word “religion,” I think of Duran Duran’s “I’ve got something to see, I can’t help myself, it’s a new religion.” Or R.E.M.’s “That’s me in the corner/That’s me in the spotlight/Losing my religion.” Because I can’t afford the jeans kind.

Dela Rosa should start adopting this as his mantra: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

True Religion jeans are visible—there’s the back pocket design.

Hermes is another obvious brand—there’s the “H.”

The brand of Mark Zuckerberg’s grey T-shirt may not be obvious but it’s reportedly a Brunello Cucinelli which can cost $400 each.

Comfort is the key in buying clothes. If you can afford it, hmmm, let’s paraphrase Dirty Harry’s famous quote: Go ahead, make your day.

Yes, I’m now quoting old songs and old movies. You reach a certain age…