You raise me up

Rhona Canoy .

SO… I think I’m reaching my limit for listening to the complaints, insults, demeaning comments, accusatory remarks which we Filipinos seem to thrive on. As I keep saying repeatedly, and will probably still keep repeating in the future, we need to figure out where we consistently steer ourselves wrong. We can’t just keep being critical of pretty much everything without learning to figure out where things went wrong.

There is nothing we haven’t heard before, and there is nothing that hasn’t been said before. Think about this. We are a people who complain about corruption but are willing participants in it. We are a people who are critical about the pervasive attitude of entitlement but are quick to demand that what we expect should be given to us, whether we deserve it or not. We are a people who will march in the streets demanding better pay and better work benefits but are not pleased when our attention is called for being consistently late or inefficient or irresponsible workers. We like to keep a clear line dividing what we demand or expect and what we minimally are willing to do to make things better. Or worse, to make ourselves better.

We should take time to figure out where things took a wrong turn. I mean, they must have for things to become unsatisfactory. And we must have taken a wrong turn for us to become the people that we are. So where should we start looking? I’m not going to go through hundreds and hundreds of years of history and sociology to understand how things are today. I just want to keep it simple and look back one generation. Yes, one generation. That’s really all we need.

Maybe we should start being honest with ourselves and admit that the people who make up the society which we frequently complain about weren’t born that way. Tabula rasa, after all. We are all (no matter one’s race, nationality or religion or lack of it) born knowing nothing, understanding nothing. We start to become when we are shaped and influenced by the dominant humans in the first 10 to 15 years of our lives. Dare we say it? By our parents, or whoever assumes that role. Parents have no idea what havoc they wreak upon the world when they raise the younglings who will take their place in the natural order of things.

Let’s take a look at the corruption we so frequently rant and rave about. Without people, there would be no corruption—are we agreed? Therefore, it should be safe to admit that corruption is a human construct. And the humans who instigate it were, like all other humans, born with no idea what corruption is. Why then shouldn’t we wonder how these corrupt people were brought up and shaped by their parents to make them that way? What did they see when they were young and malleable that made their ethics and values unethical and valueless? What were they allowed to become by their parents so that they grew into these adults we abhor?

I use the term corrupt to encompass all that we deem bad or evil. Corrupt is not just a public official stealing from government coffers. Corrupt is not just a customs officer or a BIR agent taking bribes to look the other way. Corrupt is not just using one’s power to wrongly influence circumstances that affect lots of people. Corrupt is an employee never coming to work on time. Corrupt is a parent who does his or her child’s homework in order for the child to get a high grade. Corrupt is bullying your way to the head of a long line because you think you’re important and therefore disrespect the people who have been waiting all day. Corrupt is asking your friend to give your child a job regardless of the lack of qualifications. And corrupt is giving that job to your friend’s child for friendship’s sake even if there is an applicant more qualified.

All these things I have stated are just the tip of the assberg. On a daily basis, we function on the premise of corruption. We do this blatantly, with total disregard of the fact that our children are witness to it all. And as children, they will all assume that parents are supposed to lead and teach by example. The concept of right and wrong is taught not by the words that come out of our mouths, but by the dealings and actions we unthinkingly display day in and day out.

At the end of the day, I think that if we are going to keep seeking the brighter and better world that we want for our children, then we have to become better parents. More responsible and more mindful of what we teach by example. Giving our children everything they want and demand is not good parenting. We are merely teaching our children to believe they are entitled. Keeping our children from the responsibilities of chores and the accountability for actions is not good parenting. We are merely teaching our children to be lazy and narcissistic. Allowing our children to treat our drivers and domestic help with arrogance and disrespect is not good parenting. We are merely teaching our children to falsely believe that they are superior and do not need to feel compassion.

You want answers to the questions? You want to know why the world is the way it is? You want enlightenment? Look to the parents. After all, they are the people with the power to shape what the world is to become. Whether they are aware of it or not. I mean, really. Like someone once said, we have to study hard to earn a driver’s license. But any idiot can be a parent.