By Netnet Camomot AT first, I was torn between two districts. I wanted to transfer to District 1 but that would mean not voting for a friend who’s running for congressman in District 2. For that alone, I finally decided to remain with my good old district. I’ve been waiting for this moment since forever. Do you know how that is? You wait for his bossing to allow him to run for higher office but the bossing always preferred someone else. Tsk tsk. And look what happened to the one he preferred! Lesson learned? Talking about districts is starting to sound like “Hunger Games,” eh? I’ve been voting for all colors in Cagayan de Oro since they do have their positives and negatives. In other words, one party can’t be that good while the other can’t be that bad. Pareho sila tanan naay apan. There’s no such thing as a perfect politician nowadays. So, before you can look forward to a Heneral Luna in the present batch of political wannabes, go back to reading about Philippine history and please include the Marcoses and Martial Law while you’re at it since there are young people who now believe that Marcos was a good man. Despite that belief, I still could not picture the dictator with a halo hovering above his head most probably because I’m not young. Only the old Pinoys remember how Pinas was in the ’70s and the first half of the ’80s when everything was under the control of one person, and good luck na lang to those who would dare oppose him. Look what happened to Ninoy Aquino. Killed right after he was led out of the plane. Conspiracy theories galore--but it was planned by someone who was sure he could get away with it. Ninoy was a threat to their wealth and power and the only thing they could think of was to silence him. Let’s try replacing the word Ninoy: Antonio Luna was a threat to their wealth and power and the only thing they could think of was to silence him. Philippine history, anyone? Obviously, there are many Pinoys who, according to Jose Rizal, fit the description “hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makakarating sa paroroonan.” And we could now blame that on the country’s slow Internet connection that makes it impossible for us to open the ever reliable (hehe) Wikipedia, that is, if we have the time to google Philippine history amidst the “Pastillas Girl” and “AlDub” phenomena. Which brings us to the beauty pageant candidate who had to answer the question, Sino ang national hero ng Pilipinas? The initials are JPR. The candidate replies: Jeric P. Raval! Pageant host: Mali! He is a doctor. Answer: Dr. Jeric P. Raval? Now, who is Jeric Raval? Hehe. And then, there’s the other beauty pageant candidate who had to answer this question: Saan binaril si Dr. Jose P. Rizal? Clue, “B” ang simula. The candidate replies: Sa back? Host: “L” na lang ang simula. Candidate: Sa likod? Host: The modern name is “RP.” Candidate: Rear part? Before a beauty queen hits me with her crown, each beauty pageant candidate does have her own team that trains her on the ABCs of walking, poise, the Q&A, etc. If ever there’s still a clueless beauty out there, she’s the exception and not the general rule. Now, if you don’t know what JPR, B, L, and RP stand for, go look for Raval, most probably he knows the answers for he once worked as a consultant of Senator Lito Lapid. If you’re Lapid, what kind of consulting would you seek from Raval? They were both action stars and even starred in the same movie once upon a time, so the consulting could be about arnis, karate, and the meaning behind Bruce Lee’s “Be like water...” “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves... “Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” There are people who are capable of deep thoughts, and there are those who can also be into deep thro... Oops, censored by the MTRCB again. If you’re having deep thoughts while indulging in that deep censored thing, then you’re, hmmm, ambidextrous? Which could be the best trait for the political team member assigned to write on ballots that will later trigger another “Hello Garci” investigation. Water, however, was the culprit behind the loss of the violet mayor in 2013 after being blamed for the past, present and future tenses of Sendong. The banner news last Monday said he’s confined at the ICU of CUMC. But one of his minions said he went back home on the same day. Hay naku. Despite all the chika that surrounds his political career, we wish him well, for after all, he’s still a husband and a father, with a family that loves him and cares for him.