Netnet Camomot
DIETING during the Christmas season is like vowing not to go swimming at White Island, Camiguin.
Have you been to that island? What else can you do there? It's all ocean and sand.
The Christmas season is the time to eat. But there you are, eating bananas like a minion because there's not a single food item on the buffet table that fits the description of fish.
Yes, you're now on a fish diet. But then you see seafood on the menu and start believing prawns and scallops belong to the fish family since they all live in water.
This is called denial. Denying that you'll soon grow scales and fins after all the fish you've eaten.
Even the gifts we give during the season are food--ham, queso de bola, grapes, cake, torta, ensaymada, cupcakes, cookies, chocolates. So, how to be on a diet amidst all that?
To lose one pound is so difficult, I now pray for good results after being weighed again by the mahiwagang weighing scale. Talk of "Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang." No, not the movie. More like the kulang on the commitment to a healthy body weight.
Which could never be said of the Davao City mayor. No, it's not about weight loss for him. It's more on the commitment to kill as many as criminals as possible or at least banish them to other cities which may include Cagayan de Oro although this suspicion that his city's misbehaving people fled to our city remains as a mere suspicion that cannot be proven until proven guilty.
Still, despite that suspicion, it's a merry Christmas and I cringe each time I hear a Christmas carol. A fan of the commercialization of Christmas won't have any problems with the way most Christians celebrate the happiest of their seasons, with gift-giving as the focus of that season, which is a good thing but once you're way up to there with fruitcakes and hams, the next question is, May I have a slice of ham with that fruitcake?
But fruitcakes have been deleted from the Christmas wish list many seasons ago, and have been replaced by, hmmm, lechon belly?
Thus, the body weight goes from, say, 156 to 152 pounds then to 155 pounds. But at least now you know you can be 152 instead of plateauing at 156 forever and ever. But how to make that go down to one pound less? As in, 151. If you're now treating prawns and scallops as fish, good luck na lang.
And there are many other details to consider. Metabolic age, muscle mass, bone mass, visceral fat, fat percentage, water percentage... Dios ko day. And you're not allowed to lose muscle mass. Lose the fats but never the muscles. Don't even dare.
There seems to be a contest among the weight losers in the group. We compare the pounds lost compared to the length of time the diet has been followed. How long have you been here? Three years. And how many pounds have you lost? Three pounds. Whaaat?!
After six months, you're expected to lose at least 50 pounds. There are avid weight-loss disciples--hehe--who lose that in three months, so that you now wonder if you're into this or is this merely another hobby, like reading and writing.
Losing weight as a hobby. Heh heh. Something must have happened between the library and the kitchen?
Which is another story for one who doesn't even cook, boiled water would dry up under her care.
There's this satire version of a movie on YouTube where the villain's voice has been dubbed so that he's now talking about carbohydrates and other food groups that are considered as bad for the health. This prompted my bro to comment, Murag si...!, and he mentioned the name of our health coach. We all laughed so hard, because we were eating pistachios while watching that video.
Each nut now has its calorie number so that you're now counting the number of nuts ingested multiplied by the calorie content. But if you're watching "Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace," while munching on nuts, how to remain focused on the count?
Weight losers who began after you have lost more weight than you have, so that you're now thinking, To continue or not to continue? That's the question. And if you stop all these, surely you'll gain back the one pound you have lost so far. Haha!
Better go swimming at White Island then and reminisce on the good old days when Camiguin was your weekend sanctuary.
