In the summer of 2017, a guy and I were talking... Okay, we were arguing. Hmm. Debating? Fighting?
As our “debate” went on and on, I suddenly asked him, “Do you have friends?” It took him several moments to reply. Then he said, “None.” I told him, “Oh, that's sad.”
There will come a time when you will ask yourself that same question. Hopefully, your answer won’t be “None.”
It takes decades to realize whether you do have friends. Good thing that guy realized he had none while he was still young—well, at least younger than me. Therefore, he had no expectations, no wishful thinking, and he could be happy with whatever group he happened to be having fun with.
You, on the other hand, may be living in a Fantasyland where you treat and trust everyone as a friend. Eventually, you’ll learn the truth and will be singing “At Seventeen”: “I learned the truth at seventeen.”
Or at seventy. Phew. Better late than never?
There’s this other guy who didn’t even defend his BFF at the height of the latter’s challenge as the gossip topic in the group, prompting the BFF’s other friend to comment, “You’re not friends after all.” Yup. Realization 101. That guy preferred to maintain his friendships with the powers-that-be from whom he was already earning millions by then. He chose the rich over his poor BFF.
Eight years later, he and that ex-BFF happened to be seated beside each other while having coffee with mutual friends, and he told her, “I have many realizations.” And she asked, “Oh, what are they?” while aiming her phone at him, pretending to record his reply. But he said, “No, just let it be.”
I don’t know which is worse: those two broken friendships, or the friendship between a narcissist and an empath.
An empath can easily notice the smirks, insults, side-eyes, and the awkward silence. But he STFU—shuts the f**k up—and puts his observations aside for future reference. That could be the reason a narcissist chooses him as a friend, expecting the empath to understand narcissistic behavior.
A narcissist is the type who constantly asks questions, as if he’s writing a feature about you. And later, he will use all the info he has gathered against you.
A narcissist needs an audience who will end up unknowingly gathering info about other people on his behalf.
A narcissist will always praise you for something you may not even have. That’s his way of manipulating people, to entice them to his side, just in case he needs their help in the future. The praise will, of course, make you wonder: “What? I’m what? I don’t think so.” But still, you STFU because, hey, thanks anyway for appreciating.
A narcissist can be the worst friend for an empath who will naturally take pity on the former, unaware that manipulation is a game narcissists love to play.
A narcissist loves to gossip, and his audience will choose to STFU and listen to him because they’re afraid to be his next gossip topic.
If you’re now wondering who among your friends fits the description of a narcissist, be warned that they’re vindictive. They can plan their revenge for many decades. And when that revenge happens, you’ll suddenly wonder, “What the...? I was what...?” Because narcissists are pathological liars who will do everything and anything to destroy you.
