I think I read this somewhere out there — that tequila is the safest drink for the carnivore diet.

Operative words: I think. Because I could be wrong. What if it’s vodka. Or gin. Or tuba.

Water is my only drink nowadays. No coffee, no sikwate, no diet soda, no iced tea, no fruit juice.

Plants are poison, so, I now have to decide if they’re worth the side effects before I indulge in, uh, halo-halo, binignit, baked goodies, pizza, pasta, sushi, kakanin.

The binignit is the most popular dish during Holy Week most especially on Good Friday when it becomes the yummiest replacement for meat.

How timely for this Holy Week to fall on the same week that income taxes are due which is on April 15. So, the Pinoy taxpayer is the one repenting for the government’s alleged graft and corruption by paying income taxes? Doesn’t compute, huh?

Once April 15 is over, though, he can relax and think happy thoughts.

For the Cagayanon who’s not going out of town for Holy Week, he may include these yummy goodies for his staycation indulgence: MiMo Cafe’s croissants, Fat Chef’s bilo-bilo, and Jacks Halo Halo’s taro-ube overload. He should make his carbo-loading worth it.

Bilo-bilo is the Tagalog version for the Visayan binignit, by the way. But the binignit is more complicated, with more ingredients. In other words, just add saba banana, sweet potato, ube, and taro or gabi to the bilo-bilo, and — et voila! — it morphs into binignit.

My family used to call binignit as tabirak. “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” as the “Romeo and Juliet” line goes.

MiMo’s espresso canele, bibingka croissant, and sausage twist are also worth their carbs but those were their Big Bite specials from March 28 to April 6 at Centrio Mall. The bibingka croissant was one of its Christmas goodies and it will surely make a major comeback in December puhon.

Jacks is located in Tablon, Cagayan de Oro. Unless it opens branches in CDO’s city proper and uptown area, indulging in its taro-ube overload will require surviving through traffic before reaching its only resto. Or you may order online. But there are times it can’t serve online orders anymore if its resto already has a long and winding line of customers.

Halo-halo is kind of the icy version of the binignit and bilo-bilo. Since I love halo-halo, it’s a given I also love binignit and bilo-bilo.

Sharmaine’s Hey, Pistachio! cake became popular at Big Bite. The common comment I heard about it was this: it’s not sweet. So, even the high-carb dieter doesn’t like anything that’s too sweet. He prefers the perfect level of sweetness.

There’s this food booth at SM City CDO Uptown that sells the yummiest kakanin, cheese cupcakes, and other baked goodies. It’s always tempting to drop by before going home after gym.

One more favorite is Kathryn Bakeshop which has a branch at SM Supermarket-CDO Uptown. That’s where I buy bread, cheese bread, ube cheese pandesal, ube cheese ensaymada, and butter mamon. I heard its chiffon cake is also yummy.

All these goodies for the Cagayanon’s best Holy Week staycation merienda. Just add coffee.