Developing a healthy self-esteem

Fr. Roy Cimagala

ONE sad thing that can be observed around is to see people, even young people, who have a very low self-esteem. They are usually shy and withdrawn, and if you get to know them better, you will most likely discover that they suffer a range of anomalies and irregularities like self-pity, doubts and fears, depression, etc.

There are, of course, others who may appear assertive and aggressive, but again if you get to know them better, you will also discover that all that assertiveness is actually a form of defense mechanism to cover their low self-esteem.

It’s a challenge indeed to let these people realize that they have no reason at all to have a low regard of their own selves.

But this will require some tedious explanation that has to be given in a period of time and in some appropriate if not catchy ways.

The usual factors that go into this phenomenon are the usual human problems that people can have and which they do not know how to cope. These can be some low economic or social status, personal problems involving the temperament and the emotions, family and professional problems, mistakes and failures committed, expectations not met, lingering sense of frustrations and disappointments, etc.

It’s a pity because some people allow themselves to be trapped in a self-inflicted restricted view of life when in fact all of us have every reason to be confident and happy, irrespective of whether things in their life are going well or not.

And that’s simply because regardless of our status, situations and conditions in life, we are all children of God who loves us no matter what and who is bent to bring us back to him from whom we come, if only we allow him.

That is why it’s important that we always bring in the fundamental inputs of our faith to tackle this problem, and to let them shape our outlook and attitudes. If these truths of our faith do not or hardly play a prominent role in developing our life, then we have reason to think that we are prone to fall into low-esteem.

Imagine the following truths of faith: We have been created in the image and likeness of God. We have become the masterpiece of all his creation. We are the only ones, together with the angels, who can know and love God and thus enter into his life.

We are children of God because even if we have committed sin and strayed from him, he continues to love us and would do the most complicated process of saving us by becoming man himself, enlightening us about who we really are, and assuming all our sins by dying on the cross.

One psalm expresses the extreme amazement at this divine love for man: “What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?” (8,4)

If we can only believe that God truly loves us no matter what, we have no reason to have low esteem. On the contrary, we can show confidence and joy, even a healthy kind of superiority complex, despite our worst conditions in our earthly life.

E-mail: roycimagala@gmail.com