ON Monday night or Tuesday morning two weeks ago, I slept past 3 am, no thanks to the bride who almost had a wedding at Pearlmont Hotel, Cagayan de Oro. Operative word: almost.
The wedding coordinator and his suppliers were then being interviewed by a radio-station reporter, and I couldn’t stop watching its Facebook Live coverage.
Anyway, thanks to the salt that brought her groom back to reality, the wedding didn’t push through. She allegedly used gayuma on him. One of his friends threw salt at him and that broke the spell. Gosh. Must be the exact opposite of a true love’s kiss.
The day after, I slept past 2 am, no thanks to the flight of former Pres. Rodrigo Duterte to The Hague.
That wedding has been forgotten, it’s The Hague that has remained in the news. Plus the Elias dance which our Tuesday Zumba instructor has included in his choreography.
If you live in Sub-Saharan-African Mindanao but you’re still clueless about Elias Lintucan Jr., it’s time for you to transfer to the northern part of Pinas whose Human Development Index is “almost Southern Europe,” according to political scientist, podcaster, and Philippine Daily Inquirer columnist Richard Heydarian.
Elias is a resident of Magpet, North Cotabato. He’s the vocalist of Kalumad and I now watch their concerts via Facebook Live. Ouhahay! That’s his favorite expression, by the way. Ah, hehe.
The band’s setlist is the same in every concert and that’s also true for Elias’s dance moves but his fans don’t seem to mind, they still go kilig each time he’s onstage.
So, does this mean I now have TOA — transfer of affection — from Brad Pitt to Elias? Juice colored! That’s like asking if I now have TOA from piggies to… Wait, let’s be politically correct here. I can’t say from piggies to spiders because what will Elias’s fans say if I compare him to spiders? Or to snakes? Crocodiles?
Corrupt government officials, though, must have accepted the fact that they’re always compared to crocodiles. Which is not exactly an absolute negative since crocodile skin makes bags more expensive than usual.
For example, the Louis Vuitton Millionaire Speedy is made of yellow crocodile skin and will make you poorer by US$1 million. Okay, it has a diamond-covered chain strap — that’s probably the major factor that contributed to its price.
A $1-million bag is coins to someone who’s earning US$1 billion a year. I wonder how that feels — you know, to be able to afford anything and everything. Except health I guess.
There’s no item named “health” that you can buy and — voila! — health is regained in one second.
Healing takes time and requires lots of research. I mean, I’ve been on a low-carb diet for more than three years now but was able to start the carnivore diet only last month. I thought the word “nadapa” — meaning, had high-carb food — would finally leave my diet vocabulary, but there I was on Friday eating carbs. Tsk tsk.
Low-carb doctors always advise the low-carb dieter to please sleep early. But that’s the hardest to follow, much harder than sticking to the carnivore diet.
Stress and lack of sleep may result to sugar cravings, thus, that Friday’s carbo-loading episode. Ouhahay.
