I THINK the first time I saw the term “duck syndrome” was on Facebook. Yes, Facebook does teach us about some things. Anyway, Google sated my curiosity by bringing me to the Stanford University website where I found this:

“The Stanford Duck Syndrome is the idea that students are struggling to survive the pressures of a competitive environment while presenting the image of a relaxed student, like a calm duck gliding across a fountain. The truth is that it is an unrealistic expectation to have everything all together all of the time. Oftentimes, social media can be deceiving with people posting only the filtered version of their life and how they want to present themselves. As a result of this facade, we fall into this trap thinking that we are alone in this journey and that others aren’t feeling the same challenges of returning back to campus.

“We all go through ups and downs, and it’s important to acknowledge the obstacles and seek support rather than paddle furiously beneath the surface. Stanford has a myriad of resources to help support you throughout your journey, and reaching out is a sign of strength. By not pretending to be gliding through everything effortlessly, we can make more progress in ourselves and help others realize that it’s okay to feel these pressures and that they aren’t alone. We can learn to support one another by vocalizing our struggles so that together, we can work towards creating a supportive community of care.”

If only people are as empathetic as Stanford, huh?

Let’s see if judgmental people will now stop judging you after they’ve read the duck syndrome. Or will they only add more details to their criteria for judging you.

Only judges can judge, right? They went through law school and passed the bar. There are also judges for contests—beauty, singing, dancing, etc. The worst judge, though, is the so-called friend who’s gossiping about you based on her own criteria for the perfect human being which she herself can’t even measure up to. Beware of such a “friend.” If she gossips about other people, she will gossip about you, too.

A gossiper will always make you appear as the bad guy in her story. She has been the one looking down on other people. She tells everyone else who cares to listen that some people survive only because they have foreign sponsors. She always has a negative story about her parents, siblings, in-laws, even the food you’re feasting on at the resto.

Now, what if instead of her as the culprit, she changes that to these: that you look down on other people, and so on and so forth, blah blah blah. And because of her pity-me face complete with crying and tears, people believe her lies. Pathetic, isn’t she?

It’s empathetic versus pathetic. Feel free to choose the mindset and attitude you want to adopt while it’s still January, so, you can stick to that for the rest of the year. Be consistent, to avoid confusion.