IT took me three days to realize I was using shower gel for my hair.

My sis bought this Palmolive product but its label was in Spanish, not English. So, I thought it’s shampoo.

But when I started using it, I noticed it had a thin consistency. Still, I figured it must be shampoo because my hair actually became softer.

It was only on the third day that curiosity finally made me check out the words on its container. Prominently displayed there were these: Oliva & Leche. Olive and milk? Oh. No wonder my hair was smoother now. Because I was sure the leche there didn’t refer to one of my favorite, uh, expressions.

In smaller font size were the words “Con leche hidratante” and “Testado dermatologicamente.” That’s easy to translate even without Google’s help: with milky hydration, and dermatologically tested? Hmmm. Am I right or am I wrong?

But there were these three words, in bigger font size, that said, “Gel de ducha.” The first thought that came to mind: Oh my gosh! I’m using douche for the wrong hair!

Haha!

It was only later, after the pre-sleep routine, that I remembered to Google the meaning of “gel de ducha.” It’s shower gel. Phew. Deep sigh of relief there.

It didn’t help that this happened during THAT week: earthquakes and aftershocks, the bombing at the Mindanao State University in Marawi, and the KathNiel breakup. Made me feel like I was in the movie “Inside Out” while experiencing most of the emotions featured there: sadness, anger, fear, and disgust. ‘Most’ only, because how could there be joy amidst all that?

“Inside Out” has a part 2 which will be released in June 2024, and this time it will feature a new emotion: anxiety. And we can all relate na relate with that.

It’s about time anxiety is acknowledged. Now, will panic require a sequel, say, “Inside Out 3”?

I remember having a panic attack inside a train while traveling from Manhattan to Brooklyn years ago.

Past 12 midnight in New York is not exactly the safest time to travel there. Adding a panic attack to that is enough to make you wish you’re out there instead of inside the train.

The morning after, I was able to analyze the cause: too much caffeine. But that episode didn’t stop me from drinking coffee. Only the low-carb-fasting (LCF) diet has managed to convince me to switch to water instead. Learning a lesson can take so many years. Decades even.

LCF can be boring, by the way: no sugary coffee, no sugary sikwate, no milk drinks, no milk teas, no regular soda, no fruit juices. Leche is on the caution list.

Sticking to this diet is like studying hard in order to pass the board or even the bar exams. If you’ve had enough of studying, then this is not for you, because it’s a continuous learning process that requires reading LCF books, and watching the videos of legit LCF doctors. I even use LCF YouTube videos as my “lullaby” before sleeping and as inspirational messages upon waking up.

So, what will I have for noche buena? Hmmm.