Netnet Camomot I RECENTLY met a newly reelected Cagayan de Oro official and when we made beso-beso, I said, Mwah. O my gas. If Kim Daguman were with me, she would have jokingly exclaimed, Friends mo?! There’s a new--or renewed?--controversy being hurled at this CDO official, and of course I asked him how it feels to be, hmmm, attacked again. Well, my word was not exactly “attacked,” but after the mwah, I can’t remember now how I asked him about this latest update in his political career. Meeting a politician, no matter how many times we had met before, is always an awkward moment as I wonder, Does he remember my name? And the awkwardness worsens once he starts to introduce me to someone else. I wait for the words to rush out of his brilliant mind, as he starts his intro with, She’s a columnist... Or, She’s the niece of Monsignor Teofilo... Or, She’s a Rotarian... Yes, I wait, without allowing the awkward moment to pass. I don’t expect famous people to remember my name. Politicians are famous, aren’t they? Everyone knows them. There are times when I sit in one corner while looking at them as they greet others. But sitting in one corner may inspire us to do more than sit there. Thus, one moment last week, upon learning about the violet team wanting to occupy the highest throne at CDO city hall again, I was so tempted to text the wannabe occupier with, It’s so over na. But that moment passed. I didn’t text him. Besides, he might text back with, Who you? Hehe. Politicians have more or less the same color. The violets, yellows, oranges and greens in CDO are merely adopting their respective colors to help the madlang pehpohl distinguish one from the other. Boring man pud if all of them are, say, black. Or navy. Like the two colors that I now prefer for my wardrobe. I was looking for a black item days ago, and the househelp had to rearrange the closet otherwise she won’t find the item. It was comparable to looking for a needle in a haystack. Imagine looking for a black thingie in a black pile of clothes. Thus, it’s advisable to have clothes in different colors if you’re always in a rush, with no time to look for one particular outfit in the closet. Still, the vibrant political colors in CDO are not enough to stop me from making the most inappropriate greeting. Aside from mwah, there I was again one night last week. Someone asked me, Kumusta ka na? And I replied with, “I try so hard.” The moment the words were out of my mouth, my thought bubble was exclaiming with, Whaaaaattt?! I try so hard at what?! Dios ko ’day.
  1. Here goes. I try so hard at losing weight, the reason why I injured my left knee last January as I huffed and puffed at an exercise program and, well, blew the knee down. To all other seniors out there: a senior moment is a serious matter. Better stick to walking, stationary biking, and Zumba. Don’t “be like Mike,” i.e., Michael Jordan at his prime. Because even Jordan himself can’t “be like Mike” now that he’s having his senior moments.
I try so hard at doing my own makeup for formal occasions. If only I can do my own hair, too. Saves me some pesos, but doesn’t save me from cursing like the country’s new prez, as I apply mascara, and then I blink, and... O my gas! The mascara is now on the eye luggage which I tried so hard to conceal with a concealer. The left eyebrow is thicker than the right eyebrow, giving more meaning to, Pakibaba ang kilay. The right cheek blushes more than the left and it has nothing to do with hot flashes. The BB cream is sticking out of the hairline. And the red lipstick vanishes as I gobble up the mountain of food on my plate. Yes, not even a formal occasion can stop me from eating like a pig. I collect piggies, and I have adopted their habits, too. Haha. There was this young lady seated with us, and I noticed her dark lipstick stayed on even after dinner. I was so tempted to ask her, What’s your secret? These ladies are so young and yet they’re already experts at doing their own makeup. So, what’s my excuse? Hmmm. I’d rather have a bare face--that’s the excuse. Besides, makeup and brushes can be expensive if you want the kind you can rely on. I try so hard at keeping my room clutter-free. I’ve already started throwing away things and let’s see--not pronounced as the Spanish word for milk--how long this drive to drive away clutter will last. I try so hard at losing weight. Gaining weight is easy--all I have to do is inhale food and...voila! But losing the excess pounds, especially with a fridge filled with chocolates... Tsk tsk. The FBS--fasting blood sugar--is now 101. I look at the three packs of Pepperidge Farm Double Chocolate Milano in the fridge and wonder if I could still feast on a piece per day. But I gotta feeling I’ll always have a mwah for chocolates despite the FBS level.