THE Election 2025 loser can now relate with this: “What hafen, Vella? Why you crying again? I know… vamfire, rayts? Vamfayr will feyt to me!"
That’s from Showtime’s “Kalokalike” contestant Cristopher Diwata, by the way, as he tried to be “Twilight’s” Jacob Black for his Taylor Lautner lookalike entry way back in 2013. Those lines were not in any of Lautner’s dialogue in the movie, though.
Talk of noontime variety TV shows, “Eat Bulaga!” has been around since 1979 and that’s where Vic Sotto and Coney Reyes met. Their son is Pasig Mayor Vico Sotto who has become the Pinoy’s wish-ko-lang for an ideal mayor.
Which reminds me of this song: “Anak ng Pasig naman kayo/Kalat doon kalat dito/Natakpan na ang langit kong ito/Nilason din ang ilog ko/Akala ko’y ganoon talaga ang mundo/Hanggang nakakita ako ng lumang litrato/‘Di maniwalang Pasig din ang tinitignan ko/Kaibigan ano ang nangyari dito.”
Try changing the word “Pasig” to the name of a highly urbanized city (HUC), say, Cagayan de Oro or CDO, and it will morph into this: Anak ng CDO naman kayo/Kalat doon kalat dito. Oops!
Haven’t you noticed? An HUC can end up as dirty as the Pasig River if there’s no sincere effort to keep it clean.
And that brings this column back to Diwata’s Jacob Black: “Edward! What are you doing here? I trusted you to protik Vella.” Oh, protik Pasig River, that is.
Diwata then proceeded to sing the “Twilight’s” “A Thousand Years”: “I have died every day waiting for you/Darling, don’t be afraid/I have loved you for a thousand years/I’ll love you for a thousand more.”
One of my favorite songs. Sigh.
Diwata’s “Kalokalike” performance went viral when Netflix posted a meme of it on Facebook on May 2, using “Twilight” photos of Black (Lautner), Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).
Diwata didn’t win the contest, and that’s the kind of frustration the 2025 Election loser must be feeling now. Especially if he’s a reelectionist, or he wanted to make a major comeback.
In the senatorial race, Bong Go topping the list of winners in the partial and unofficial results has surprised those who believed that his candidacy would be affected by the detention of his boss former Pres. Rody Duterte in The Hague. Same goes for Bato dela Rosa who’s Top 3.
Duterte himself is Davao City’s mayor-elect. His sons Sebastian and Paolo won as vice mayor and District 1 representative, respectively. Paolo’s son Omar Vincent is District 2 representative-elect, and another son Rigo is District 1 city-councilor-elect.
And that’s in addition to Vice President Sara Duterte who will be facing an impeachment trial at the Senate, thus, the need to have Duterte-friendly senators.
That’s a total of six immediate family members.
In Misamis Oriental, the opposite happened for a certain family. Most of them lost. Only the daughter-in-law won.
The losers have three years to prepare if they want to try again in 2028. That’s the presidential election. A Duterte versus a Marcos-endorsed candidate. Who will win? Abangan.
