HAVING a pet is like taking care of a baby.
A baby complains by crying. A pet complains by barking, meowing, growling, roaring, hissing, mooing, croaking, baaing, oinking, depending on what pet you have. But when it comes to health and the expenses attached to maintaining that health, both baby and pet may require the same level of expenses.
The baby is, of course, the priority if the budget is tight, and that could be one reason behind the large number of abandoned pets.
My “pets” are the non-living piggies that I’ve been collecting since forever.
I love Babka, the fur baby of my nephew and niece-in-law, but to have my own live piggy as a pet will only give me a huge dilemma: To bacon or not to bacon? To lechon or not to lechon? To crispy pata or not to crispy pata? To humba or not to humba? To liempo or not to liempo?
I do have this live pet for now—a tiny lizard. Which has chosen my bathroom as its abode. Perhaps it has not learned to crawl up walls as it loves to stay on the floor. Where I might step on it. And there goes the bug eater that nature has provided.
An electric bug zapper may or may not last long, depending on its brand, thus, making nature’s bug zappers as the longlasting way to get rid of pests.
But a lizard may also be trapped in those electric bug zappers, making the bug zapper racket as the safer kind to use.
A frustrated tennis player, who often lost on the tennis court, probably created that racket so he can now have small victories over bugs. That tournament will then be called Wimblebug.
The most recent tennis tournament, though, was the U.S. Open, which the avid Pinoy fan may get a tourist visa for, for what can be a once-in-a-lifetime experience for him.
Since I don’t watch TV and I forget the ads that are inserted in Facebook reels, I don’t know if a coffee brand still asks, “Para kanino ka bumabangon?”—a tricky question if you’re awakened by an unidentified crawling object on your face, arms, or legs in the middle of the night. Especially if sleeping with the enemy is as enticing as looking for Pastor Apollo Quiboloy in the Kingdom of Jesus Christ compound.
Quiboloy has been arrested, by the way. Er, no, not arrested. He surrendered. Er, no, he didn’t surrender. He was arrested.
To avoid using the incorrect word, better use both: He was arrested or he surrendered on September 8, after several days of a search that began on August 24.
I thought the hide-and-seek scenario would never end for the self-proclaimed “appointed son of God” since he could have followed the route that Alice Guo took for her own escape. Yes, “It’s More Fun in the Philippines,” as the Department of Tourism (DOT) used to say.
DOT’s current slogan is “Love the Philippines” which sounds like it’s begging Quiboloy to love his country pa more after he said that he’s the “owner of the universe.” Hmmm. I wonder how much he’s paying for real property taxes.
And I wonder if Quiboloy and Guo stepped on a tiny lizard while they were hiding or escaping. With every Pinoy seemingly looking for them, who had the time to save tiny lizards from harm? Not me, said the electric bug zapper. Oh.
