Netnet Camomot IT started with a book, “Bridget Jones’s Diary,” in 1996. That was the decade when I still had time to read, and would borrow piles of books and magazines from two places in Cagayan de Oro. I’ve forgotten the names of those two stores but I do remember the names of their owners: Terelou Pimentel for the one along Hayes Street, near Xavier University; and Paul Paladio for the store at Pabayo Street. The deadline for returning the books and magazines was one week, thus, there I was, spending many of my free time on reading. Book stores, and the office and school supplies section of any department store have always been my go-to nooks since grade school—one could never have enough books, magazines, pens, and stationery. The ’90s was also the decade when reading could probably be the reason why one wasn’t married yet. Or why not ask Bridget Jones? But she’s too busy taking care of her cute cuddly child now, with probably no time to recall how it is to be a—gasp!—spinster. Single is a word that could describe a spinster, bachelor, the separated, the divorced, and the epitome of all singles—if you’re in your 20s and still with no boyfriend/girlfriend since birth. How sad is that, to be in your 20s, and with no significant other to cuddle. Nope, dogs are not considered as S.O. They’re practically your cute cuddly kids, but definitely not your S.O. The 20s could be the best time to discover sex. You’re still agile, with no injured left knee, you can do all positions in bed, against the wall, on top, in the car, wherever, whatever, and if you wanna have babies, the 20s mean less complications: easier to huff and puff through childbirth, and the tender loving care for the baby won’t result to hypertension, back pains, injured knees, white hair, and wrinkles. Hey, if the 30-ish athletic Roger Federer could have a meniscus tear in his knee while preparing a bath for his twin daughters, imagine how it would be for the 40-ish non-athletic you. The now 43-year-old Bridget Jones finally has a baby. And brace yourself for this spoiler alert—she marries the love of her life a year later. Mark Darcy or McDreamy? After watching the two previous installations of this movie series, somehow I knew who would end up as her forevermore S.O. Any woman doesn’t grow old—ouch—with no stories to tell. Or not to tell. There’s the story but she may not want to reveal it to the whole world. Why would you care, anyway, about her story? Unless you want to be part of that story, too. Bridget’s story has always been funny. Once “All By Myself” is playing as her muzak, the single women would go berserk: O my gas, how about U2’s “Beautiful Day”? “It’s a beautiful day/Sky falls, you feel like/It’s a beautiful day/Don’t let it get away.” I still have to meet an “old” single woman who’s waiting to be swept off her feet by prince charming. By the time she reaches a certain age, men—or women, if she’s gay—have already attempted to do all those things with their feet, with some of them managing to do the sweep, thus, there’s no more waiting. Been there, done that. And the one attempting to sweep does not exactly have to be exceptional—hey, even the marriage of at least one princess with her prince charming ended up in divorce. The only essential ingredient is…hmmm…can’t explain. It’s a feeling, and there are feelings that can’t be translated into words—it’s there or not there. If it’s there, good. If not there, blah. And no matter what you do, that blah can never level up to good. But if it’s good, the attraction is already there, it’s now up to the two parties if they want to make it work or not. The older you get, the more the complications in relationships, with all the excess baggage brought from previous relationships. A familiar trait or scenario can inspire you to flee even before anything could start. Relationships are always cute at the start—making pa-cute with each other, making pa-tweetums with each other, making love with each other. Once you’ve become too familiar with each other, that’s when the real relationship begins: who will cook breakfast, who will wash the dishes, who will wash the clothes, who will clean the bathroom, who will cook lunch and dinner. And with no more sweeping off some feet since the intended is already convinced, who will sweep the leaves off the lawn? But when you’re attracted to someone, you try to focus on happy thoughts while trying to leave the excess baggage in the bodega. This is going to be a new relationship, different from all others in the past. Life is complicated enough, add overthinking to that, and it’s going to be a miserable life, with or without the S.O. The book versions of “Bridget Jones’s Diary” and “Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason” came out in 1996 and 1999, respectively. “Bridget Jones’s Baby” comes 12 years after the movie version of “Edge of Reason” which was released in 2004. The first film was of course “Diary” in 2001. Its main star, Renee Zellweger, has, uh, aged. There was controversy several months ago on how she had become unrecognizable after trying to look young through surgery. Well, her lips are not the same—they look like Meg Ryan’s. The only attempts I’ve been making at, uh, looking young are to dye the hair and weight loss. And I’m writing this while munching on Planters Dry Roasted Peanuts—available at S&R, if you’re also craving for some. While you’re there, might as well buy pistachios, too. I’ve written about this before, that when someone tells you, you look young for your age, that means you’re old. So, go and have some pepperoni calzones and hotdogs at S&R, since the one who loves you will always love you no matter what the weighing scale says.