Netnet Camomot
IT’S “Eat the honey and save the bears!”
It’s an instruction that I often see in Candy Crush Soda Saga. I thought it’s “Get the honey and save the bears,” that’s what I wrote in my column for last Friday. Well, my bad, no thanks to senior-moment eyes which may now need a magnifying glass to see those candies clearly.
Bears do eat honey, and in the movie, “The Jungle Book,” there’s a scene where the little boy Mowgli climbs a cliff to get all the honey for Baloo the sloth bear.
Honey is used for some Brazilian waxes, thus, “Eat the honey” can be foreplay in the R-18 movie, “Fifty Shades Darker.”
I also eat honey, er, I use it to sweeten coffee although nowadays I’d rather have the most instant of all instant coffees: the 3-in-1.
A 3-in-1is not the same as a threesome, and can only inspire a Starbucks-coffee drinker to say, Kape ni?
Eating honey is simply eating honey, with no wink-wink added there.
The latest installment of “Fifty Shades” will be shown on Valentine’s Day next year. The Christmas carol, however, instructs, “Give love on Christmas day,” and we presume it’s not the same kind of love that’s given on Valentine’s with open arms and, uh, legs.
Thus, last Friday, there we were trying to buy gifts with the help of a Christmas list only embedded in the minute brain. Haven’t written one yet. This is the first Christmas where the list has been shortened due to what Gwyneth Paltrow may mean every time she says, conscious uncoupling. Her version is for her divorce from ex-hubby Chris Martin. Such a short list may not require a written form anymore, if only the minute brain could expand a little and accommodate more than three names.
Now I know why I love giving mugs—a true friend can savor his coffee, hot choco or tea with them, and you could throw the heaviest mug at a frenemy’s face.
Yes, that’s Chris Martin of Coldplay. He and Paltrow are among the couples who said goodbye to marriage and “in a relationship.” But what Pinoys are looking forward to are not updates on his lovelife but on Coldplay’s concert next year. Yay!
Still, we’re stuck with Christmas for now. Parties galore every weekend and also on weekdays, with lechon on each buffet table. You may have to consciously uncouple yourself from that table before Garfield’s—the lasagna-loving cat—talking weighing scale can say, “Do you mind if I ask a question first? How many of you are there?”
Or would you rather listen to that same scale using Anthony Hopkins’ voice: “It was a beautiful day in scale land. Suddenly, the little forest scales went silent. A huge shadow fell across the land…”
That scale should not dictate how the rest of your day will be. It does make you conscious of food intake, although not exactly to the extent of stopping you from eating more. Yeah, eat the honey!
Or the honey roasted peanuts. Yum!
Christmas has always meant food. It’s not the time to diet; it’s time to eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we eat, drink and be merry again.
This is also the time to look back on how 2016 has been. For the families of Tokhang and extrajudicial-killing victims, that won’t be a pleasant memory. For those who were able to escape from President Rody Duterte’s relentless war on drugs, that memory is pleasant for now but always with nerveacking days, waiting for the moment when they’ll be caught.
The presidential election this year must be on the top five important decisions Pinoys had to make in their lifetime. Think how this country would have been without Duterte as president. We would remain clueless about the drug menace, on the extent of government officials’ involvement in the trade, and also on the possibility that Manny Pacquiao could morph into a senator who can ask the right questions in Senate hearings. Or we simply idolize Pacman too much and have chosen to ignore his boo-boos.
Watching Sen. Pacquiao questioning Senator Leila de Lima is, uh, entertainment. Who would have thought, huh? The world boxing legend versus the former justice secretary. And if he chooses the “right” opponents, he can continue adding more championship belts to his collection. Meanwhile, the former justice secretary continues to attract angry emoticons on Facebook Live.
Years from now, if ever Pacman decides to run for president, victory will be within his grasp. He now looks kagalang-galang, and we suspect his spin doctors are working more than 24/7 to make that possible. The discipline, commitment and focus he has for boxing are working full time, too, in this new role as a senator.
Well, it’s not a role in a movie. It’s his reality now. Better a world boxing champion than an actor in the Senate.
The madlang pehpohl like us ordinary mortals will have to work out not only to lose excess weight but also to gain at least an iota of the discipline, commitment and focus that Pacman has. Exercise does rid the mind of unnecessary thoughts, and may give us optimism, joy and inner peace. Like a prayer but with lots of sweat. All that bliss will then hopefully keep you from gluttony with honey.
