Bencyrus Ellorin I DO not know if heaven is knocking on me. I’m not the religious type even if grew up going to Church under the stern eyes of my parents... and now my wife. Last Christmas, a relative from the States, a religious devoutee, asked me about my religion. I answered: I’m a freelancer. I saw her worried face, perhaps fearing, people like me are condemned to eternal damnation. I cut short the conversation. Proselytizing turns me off, I also believe that matters of faith need no debating. I learned this while in a fellowship in Myanmar under the Fredskorpset of Norway some five years ago. There were 21 fellows from 11 countries--Christians, Muslims, Theravada Buddhists, Mahayana Buddhists and Taoists in our batch  to be deployed in 12 south Asian and north Asian countries. I was paired with a Muslim from Indonesia. We lived under one roof for a year in Theravada Buddhist-majority Myanmar. Hardin would always remind us that faith is not a debatable topic everytime our conversation with our hosts strayed into religion. He likened the issue to my beer drinking and his chain smoking. I do not smoke, he does not drink beer. Our coffee drinking to the tea drinking of Burmese. Usually the conversation turns to soccer debate. Everyday, we wrack our gray matter to resolve both complex symbols and tangible things; their corelation and implications to our personal lives and the larger society. The dialectics of everyday living involves the conflict of our upward aspiration -- vertical social mobility to structural pressures like supply and demand, prices of commodities, competition, inflation, insecurity, etc. etc. Maybe perhaps to workelated and midlife pressures, our brains try to comprehend and resolve issues even while asleep. One time, I dreamed of a child, chubby, curly hair -- the one that fits our image of the Child Jesus or the Cherubim, whichever, giving me a device with a red button at the middle for me to press so I will disappear when I am in danger. Another time, I dreamed, reciting the Lord’s Prayer and all other prayers, waving a pinuti, as I tried to battle witches. Then an Angel came scolding me, saying: Ayaw tumpangi, mga yawa man kana sila. I woke up, thirsty, gasping for breath, perhaps tired fighting the demons or perhaps because of my Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I had other dreams worth telling like when I dreamed I was back on the track, joining a marathon, struggling to finish, muscle pains, shortness of breath, everything, only to realize it was just a dream when I woke up at the finish line holding my pillow and not a certificate or token of race completion. Whatever, in those instances, my brain turned a nightmare, a struggle into something comforting, to smile about, and yes deep reflection. When Gegek was a toddler, I helped her recite the Lord’s Prayer and Guardian Angel at bedtime. Children pray before sleeping because they associate nightime, darkness with monsters, actually fear of the unseen, unknown. For adults, monsters are imaginary and could be fought by angels in our dreams. Prayers are however very much needed during day-time when existence is most trying, resolving problems at the workplace and home, achieving personal and professional targets, chasing deadlines, bills, morale dillemas, ad nauseam. Facing the day-to-day monsters. Add to that the impact of psychological stress, gravity and friction on our bodies -- we truly need prayers and yes, imaginary or not, our guardian angels. We may have different beliefs, idea of a diety or a supreme God, but vulnerable as we are, prayers are stops in our daily grind where we ask whereto, whatto, whatto? It is a petition to win and at the same time an acceptance or readiness to face defeat. Meanwhile, as we take stock of things, enjoying the better, finer things in life needs to be learned. With all the rough and tumble, nobody ends in good shape. And when we screech, tumble sideways, fall or hit the wall, we can still say, rock and roll... that was one hell of a good ride. Make no mistake however, 2017 is a new year -- a beginning, not the end. Happy new year to all!   E-mail: bency.ellorin@gmail.com