Netnet Camomot ANY woman who has had sex will squirm with utmost discomfort if given a hint by her partner or ex-partner on a sex video to be released to the wild if his demands are not met. There are people who suspect that’s the cause behind the effect on Sen. Leila de Lima which resulted in her meltdown on TV and Facebook Live on Wednesday. The woman in the alleged video would understandably go through the five stages of grief. Denial: A sex video?! When did that happen?! Anger: Rawr! Rawrrrrr! Raaaaawrrrrr! Bargaining: May gusto ka pa ba sa akin? Depression: He used me! Acceptance: Oh, I hope I look great in it. Except for that one particular position involving the injured left knee. Yes, there are positions that require strong knees. Say goodbye to that for now. It’s not the excess body weight that will stop anyone from having sex—it’s the injury which both partners have to work around to avoid more injuries. The question that may start brewing in a suspicious mind once it sees a meltdown is this: Are you drugs? Because the best way to approach any hint of a sex video scandal is to ignore it. And if there’s that video, better watch it yourself and see if it’s indeed you. If canfeeermed, then, simply set a goal for the number of pounds you have yet to lose. There are women who maintained or increased their popularity even after the release of their sex videos. Kim Kardashian. Pamela Anderson. Britney Spears. Remember Britney’s proof of a good Brazilian wax? Well, ordinary mortals may achieve notoriety instead of popularity but there were sex videos starring some familiar faces that have learned to look back to them not exactly with fondness—more like lesson learned. The sexually active woman may now have to keep her eyes wide open while having sex, to ensure her partner is not videotaping anything. Or hire an expert to remove hidden video cameras from any place she’s planning to have sex in. Here’s a simple solution: Hide all phones inside your purse. That way, the only chance the partner has of taking videos is if he has a teeny weeny camera secured around his, uh… Once that teeny weeny camera manages to videotape, it’s time to expect the worst. And the best way to approach such a challenge is to have a clear mind, not controlled by any other emotion but the will and determination to protect one’s sanity. Dignity? Gosh. With that sex video being watched by every kanto boy, pick up that torn dignity, piece by piece. Or better yet, lose the excess weight, lose the glasses—she was fat and had red specs on in one video—and change the hairdo. The face in that video is blurred, though. It might not be her. Why react so vehemently to an unclear video? That’s the question. Sex can become boring if done the same way, thus, some couples resort to varied positions, sex toys, and/or sex videos. The last one is the riskiest of them all. I wonder how they would then watch their video. What to say? Ay, ang cute mo diyan, o. Bagay sa iyo ’yong position. The release of such a video is not anticipated with excitement but with anxiety on the part of the woman. The man will lose nothing if his package is the right size. But the woman loses everything. It will require a lot of chutzpah for her to survive. But the woman can still choose to leave a partner, despite his sex-videoelease threats, on the most perfect of days to leave him. Call it a woman’s intuition. Then, she can heave a deep sigh of relief—finally, it’s over. Bahala na si Batman with the video. September was a month for separations: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts; if there are other couples who didn’t make it till Sept. 30, my most sincere apologies for the lack of extensive research. We have not heard of sex videos starring Brangelina, and Liev-Naomi. Have you? And these are couples whose relationships thrived amid Hollywood’s madness. Twelve years for Brangelina, 11 years for Liev-Naomi. I guess with all the movies they’re doing in Hollywood, there’s no need for one more video to spice up their days. The romantic will always believe that only love can make the world go round for a couple. But there are many factors affecting a relationship. Maturity, acceptance, reality, sexual compatibility, sense of humor—laughing while having sex, though, may not be beneficial to both. A relationship may look good only on paper and Facebook. Outside of that, you need a sex video to prove otherwise? Tsk tsk. There’s an ongoing probe at the House of Representatives on the Bilibid’s alleged drug trade. The possibility of showing the videos is now brewing in their midst, despite the lack of confirmation that the woman is Sen. de Lima. Oh my.