IF you didn’t read the small print in the Christmas party invite, you were among those who wore yellow to the blue party, blue to the red party, red to the silver party, silver to the gold party, gold to the green party, or green to the peach fuzz party, which is Pantone’s color for 2024.
For the more complicated themes, the clueless wore Barbie-and-Ken attire to the superhero's party, a superhero attire to the scarf/shawl party, or a scarf/shawl to the beach party.
The senior, though, was always excused since he could hardly remember when the party was going to be. Calling him while the party was already ongoing, prompted this reply: Karon diay to? For him to be present was already an achievement, just in time for the bring-me game, senior edition:
Game coordinator: Kinsay naay tattoo?
Guest: Bato?
Could be gallstones, or kidney stones.
The other items in the bring-me list had the usual: senior-citizen ID, one white hair, a whole set of pustiso, and a rosary. And the unusual: red undies, green undies, no undies. The last one had no winners, though.
An exchange gift had a Christmas story filled with the words “left” and “right”: form a circle, pass your gift to the person on your left if the emcee mentions “left” in his story, and to the person on your right if he mentions “right.” This was challenging to the senior who didn’t know there were instructions. He went left while everyone else was going right, or right while everyone else was going left.
Another party had the simple instruction of passing the gift to the person on your right, and once the music stopped, the gift you’re currently holding was yours.
There was the almost-senior who forgot to buy a gift, so, he grabbed whatever he could from the house before leaving for the party. If you received spaghetti pasta, spaghetti sauce, tomato paste, cheese, fruit cocktail, kaong, nata de coco, all-purpose cream, evaporated milk, condensed milk—it’s the thought that counts. The gifter didn’t have spaghetti and fruit salad for his noche buena, though.
Despite the Israel-Hamas war, the Trip to Jerusalem was still played in another party, and this parlor game was indeed a war as the predominantly male participants—only two women dared to join the fray, one of them was me—jostled each other in getting a bottle of mineral water to move on to the next round.
And there was the revenge Christmas raffle, with guests winning smart TVs, smartphones, and a not-so-smart electric fan—it was incomplete. No wonder some guests were singing, “Bakit ngayon kulang” to the tune of “Bakit ngayon ka lang.” And they described Oppo, one of the raffle prizes, as the “matinahuron nga cell phone.” Oppo. Opo. Gets?
One party had a band that changed the beat of “O Holy Night” to rock. It also had Apo Hiking Society songs morphing into rock music: “Yakap sa Dilim,” “When I Met You.” Which is nothing new, by the way. Other bands have been there, and done that, too.
The noche buena was still the highlight of the season and ordering food for it became amusing when a resto staff said they had a Christmas tree. It took a while for us to understand he was referring to their Christmas trays.
