JUST when I’m struggling with my carnivore diet, here’s a name that reminds me of Mary Grace Cafe’s ensaymada, and the Sour Cream and Onion flavor of Piattos—two of my favorite things when I was a high-carb dieter.
Piattos was a recipient of confidential funds of the Office of the Vice President and the Department of Education from 2022 to 2023. This is not surprising in Pinas where ghost projects and ghost voters are the norm.
So, upon learning about Piattos’s signature appearing on the funds’ acknowledgment receipts, the Pinoy’s instant reaction was to connect her name to Mary Grace Cafe and Piattos. A Facebook reel even shows a lookalike of Vice President and then DepEd Secretary Sara Duterte looking at the Mary Grace Cafe signage and also at a pack of Piattos chips, and instructing someone over the phone to use that name.
Of course, clueless me had no idea what the connection was one when I saw that reel. It was only when I became curious about Atty. Zuleika Lopez’s refusal to be transferred from St. Luke’s to the Veterans Memorial Medical Center that I discovered why Mary Grace Cafe and Piattos were trending.
The tired Pinoy doesn’t want to watch or listen to the news anymore. The names of Mary Grace Piattos, Zuleika Lopez, and even VP Sara Duterte appear on his Facebook newsfeed, and he ignores those posts and continues to scroll down until he sees a funny meme which he will then share as a story, complete with music.
A friend has learned to avoid conversations on any breaking news even if it’s about the recent vehicular accidents that had minors driving like Formula 1 drivers. Good for that friend for refusing to listen to bad news. But bad for those minors for starring in the bad news. Parents are now wary of allowing their adolescent children to drive. But that’s the best time to learn how to drive—when they’re young, have 20/20 vision, and reflexes are still at their optimum level.
Which reminds me of Duran Duran: “The reflex is a lonely child, who’s waiting by the park/The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark/And watching over lucky clover, isn’t that bizarre?/And every little thing the reflex does/Leaves you answered with a question mark.”
Should I continue quoting that song?
“So, why don’t you use it?/Try not to bruise it/Buy time, don’t lose it.”
Does “it” refer to the name Mary Grace Piattos? Her signature on the acknowledge receipts? VP Duterte’s confidential funds?
Or does “it” refer to the confidence that VP Duterte needs now that she’s going through what must be the most challenging time in her journey to the 2028 presidential election?
Here’s a saying that she can perhaps use: “People will throw stones at you. Don’t throw them back. Collect them all and build an empire.”
She’s already gaining loads of media mileage through the House hearing. Whether good or bad news, the wise public relations team can always use anything and everything to their client’s advantage. And that team can start by paraphrasing an Eminem song: Will the real Mary Grace Piattos please stand up? We’re gonna have a problem here.
