“BUTI pa ang Roma may bagong Papa,” so goes the title of a book. Written by Noringai, it’s about a single life.

Pope Francis became a pope in March 2013, so, the title was still timely when the book was published in 2014.

The line can also be, Buti pa si (feel free to insert the name of Piolo Pascual’s significant other—S.O.—in 2013 or 2014) may Papa P.

Noringai opens the book with, “Single. Alone. Soloista. Lonely. Tigang. Sawi. NBSB. Searching. Waiting. Hoping. This book is for you. Para malaman mo na kahit wala kang dyowa, hindi ka nag-iisa.”

Sounds like the yellows’ “Hindi ka nag-iisa.”

If you’re still stuck with NBSB because you don’t know what it means, that’s short for No Boyfriend Since Birth. Kawawa naman. Mas uga pa sa Sahara Desert. Complete with cobwebs.

Married people, especially those with children, are presumed to be happy because they have a permanent S.O., and if the S.O. is not there, they can always rely on their children to cook for them, wash their clothes, and clean the house. Yeah, right. In a perfect household, though, that’s possible.

Since only God is perfect, expecting other things outside of God to be perfect can be frustrating. A married couple has to learn to accept each other as is and not as he/she wishes the other to be: handsome, beautiful, macho, sexy, forever young like a virgin. Although a virgin does not necessarily have to be young—NBSB, remember?

Marriage is a phenomenon I guess, and never-been-married people will never understand the miracle that keeps a couple together.

One day, isang araw, a friend was telling me about some details of his married life. And I began to question him: Why is she so dependent on you? And, of course, his reply, as always, made me shut up. He’s a debater and a good speaker, and he can safely argue his way out of a motorist’s road rage. I’ve learned to stay quiet when he’s around.

If you’re not a member of the NBSB, why have you remained unmarried then? No one proposed? No one met all your criteria? His thingy was cuter than a cigarette butt?

Yes, what the tongue can do matters, but the thingy’s size matters more. The tongue is only the appetizer, not the main dish. It’s a full-course meal after all, with dessert a.k.a. cuddling.

But if you’ve been married for so long, the full-course meal may no longer have an appetizer and dessert. It’s straight to the main dish—wham bam thank you, ma’am.

This may prompt the carnivore dieter to consider if his beef-pork-fish preference can have the stability of a long-term marriage. If he continues to follow such a strict regimen forevermore, will he never get tired of beef, pork, and fish? Or will he reach the point of no return: “Tama na, sobra na, palitan na.”

But here’s his consuelo de bobo: Buti pa ang bulalo may utak. And hopefully, that utak will make him continue his smart food choices.