“THE Art of Dramatic Writing” is one of the books I’m not keeping because, first of all, I’m not into dramatic writing. Hehe. Anyway, Lajos Egri wrote its foreword which I found interesting because of this:
“Just think of your Aunt Helen, the family gossip. (We all have one.) She causes hard feelings, suspicion, and subsequent arguments. Why does she do it? She wants to be important, of course, and if she can achieve this only by means of gossip or lying, she will not, for one moment, hesitate to gossip or lie.”
Surely, you have a relative or a so-called friend who loves to gossip, too, mindless of the conflict his lies will cause. If there’s this constant whispering in family reunions or in your group’s get-togethers, try to recall when it started and what has happened to your family or group since then, and eventually, you’ll discover the root cause: the gossiper who “wants to be important.”
There are many ways to achieve relevance. So, why gossip? The gossiper has run out of ideas in his blind ambition to be relevant. Hmmm. There should be a book on the art of dramatic gossiping. Or here’s the better book: the art of dramatic silence. If you have nothing good to say, shut the f*ck up. Hush.
Your initial reaction to any gossip about you is, of course, shock. Learn to ignore it calmly so that the next time it happens, you can continue savoring the rib-eye steak you ordered. Yum!
Envy, jealousy, and crab mentality are supposed to be the driving forces behind the gossiper’s lies. Since he can never achieve whatever it is that he believes you have, he will destroy you instead. He focuses on you and your life, he asks your mutual friends about what’s happening to you, why you left the country, why you’re changing careers, and why you now have blue eyes. And the feedback he receives doesn’t matter—good or bad, he will use all that against you. He will change the news from good to bad, from bad to worse, from worse to worst, and whisper his version of the story to anyone who cares to listen.
The gossiper is unaware that he gossips, and that he’s spreading lies about other people. He’s not aware because he believes he’s the best and the greatest and no one can ever remove him from his throne. Even if he’s reading this, he will say, Uh, the nerve of these people spreading lies about their friends and relatives. Because he believes that he’s telling the truth and nothing but the truth.
The first hint is that your friend or relative is a gossiper: he’s nosy. But instead of using his nose — haha — there are his ears to catch all information about you, and his mouth to spread lies about you. He’s always busy observing other people. But forgets to observe himself. His focus is you—that’s how important you are to him.
Gossip doesn’t spread if it stops with you. If you’re helping the gossiper spread gossip, then, you’re a gossiper, too. You should have an organization already. Gossipers Anonymous.
